Iron DM 2009 - FINAL MATCH - it's over!

[phoamslinger]

ElectricDragon and Iron Sky, your decision awaits.

 

[Nifft]

r1m8 phoamslinger's judgment: http://www.enworld.org/forum/plots-places/266192-iron-dm-2009-all-matches-3.html#post4974297


Regarding match 3 and 4, it looks like we could run match three from Thursday-Saturday, and match four from Saturday-Monday.

Anyone facing time restrictions?

Thanks, -- N

 

[ElectricDragon]

Isn't a flesh golem really a patchwork golem? A patchwork of parts from different creatures. If I had instead made it a quilt golem would that have been better?

The comet was the thing that again activated the golem, I thought that was apparent, maybe I should have posted extra material, too. If you read his commands, and that the 1st command was ignored, that has to mean that the 2nd command is still active if it applies, the comet makes it apply again.

Golem tied to comet tied to sleeping sickness tied to shocking arrows: all found in ruins of bloody dungeon.

I saw criticism of my entry but none of Iron Sky's; what's up with that, was his perfect?

I have two plot hooks for if the party is HQ'd in the town or just passing through. Yes, the comet didn't come into the story at all except in passing, but the same is true of Iron Sky's comet. My comet caused a golem to go on the rampage, kidnapping people inadvertently freeing ancient people from a sleeping death of 15 thousand years.

Let's see, moneylender: mine shows up 3-4 times in the story and is aggressive. His shows up once and is powerful. Character development then doesn't matter

Shocking Arrows, mine are carried by the golem to wake up the sleeping dead (tied into both), his are carried by the lich (moneylender) and are just what is needed to activate this multi-generational, more-powerful-than-any-god golem.

I didn't add sex to mine, I guess I should have linked porn. I thought this was a family-oriented site though so, sex wasn't even considered, stupid me.

My only real weak point was the bloody dungeon, which was only bloody by tale, a red herriing for the players. The two unique undead were meant to be "survivors" of this dungeon and what it did to people. You didn't see that though.

I don't mind criticism, when it is meant to help provide a means to better one's stories, but phoamslinger's criticism was more: your sucks, his is great. And this after delaying the judgement for more than 3 days. Thank you.

Don't expect me to try this again, I can see that the judges have their favorites. I have been DMing for more than 30 years, I have had some of my adventures written up in Dragon magazine, and at least one editorial about one specific adventure that shocked the editor enough to spend the whole issue talking about it. I know what kind of DM I am.

I don't do 4th edition, I don't have a lot of computer savvy, I don't do computer graphics, but my adventures are talked about for years. You should be so lucky to play in one of my campaigns.

If this post gets me banned, so be it; I'm kinda peeved right now.

Ciao,
Dave

 

[Wik]

No time restrictions here, Nifft. Really, I check this thread about twice a day, so if you say "wik, it's time to go,", I'll know about it within a couple of hours.

So, gimme a time to start, and I'll start. Thurs-Sat sounds easy enough.

 

[Wik]

snip

Ciao,
Dave

Dude, I hate to say it, but you're kinda sounding like sour grapes. To be quite honest, I read both entries, and I have to admit... I didn't really like either. Phoam could have been a bit more even in his assessment (in fact, I think it hurts Iron Sky in that he didn't post a critique of that post's ingredient use), but he explained why he judged things the way he did.

And to attack your competitor's entry is pretty poor taste, man.

Were I you, I'd just delete your last post in this thread, and apologize. And then I'll delete this post, and we can go on and pretend nothing happened.

 

[phoamslinger]

Isn't a flesh golem really a patchwork golem? A patchwork of parts from different creatures. If I had instead made it a quilt golem would that have been better?

ED.
I've had judges come down hard on me before and generally felt wronged by the whole judgement thing. so I went back and re-read your entry again. earlier I've been called out for being too critical and I was working to avoid that. if you really want me to go into five pages of detail as to how weak I found your entry to be, then too bad. I'm not going to do it.

but I could have.

yes, golems are patchworks of things. so what made your golem stand out as more of a patchwork than the golem down the block? nothing that I could see. IS's golem stood out better. point to him.

The comet was the thing that again activated the golem, I thought that was apparent, maybe I should have posted extra material, too. If you read his commands, and that the 1st command was ignored, that has to mean that the 2nd command is still active if it applies, the comet makes it apply again.

the comet reactivated the golem, ok. the golem is obeying its orders from 15 millenia ago, ok. the golem ignores said programming if it has to escape the combat. did I miss something there. no - suddenly an automaton breaks its programming of 15,000 years out of a sense of its own survival. yeah, right. point to IS.

Golem tied to comet tied to sleeping sickness tied to shocking arrows: all found in ruins of bloody dungeon.

ok, I see the Golem and the comet and a spell called sleeping death which works except that the villagers aren't dead and are not in danger of death. they wake up when the next persons enter chamber III (which would mean that several wake up when the party enters, putting the party to sleep for several 1000 years till someone else wanders in - sorry I see a serious campaign break there - but that's just me playing favorites I guess). the shocking arrows did not stand out as being critical. the answer "they woke up the villagers because I say so" doesn't carry the weight I was looking for. and your dungeon may have all the reputation you want to give it, but you described slippery and mossy. if it had had blood seeping through the cracks in the ceiling and blood pools outside attracting vermin and undead, that would have been better, but I would have been asking why? Why? WHY?

I saw criticism of my entry but none of Iron Sky's; what's up with that, was his perfect?

I have two plot hooks for if the party is HQ'd in the town or just passing through. Yes, the comet didn't come into the story at all except in passing, but the same is true of Iron Sky's comet. My comet caused a golem to go on the rampage, kidnapping people inadvertently freeing ancient people from a sleeping death of 15 thousand years.

maybe a paragraph to that effect as well as some background would have been helpful. I didn't see the golem as rampaging, didn't see how it was kidnapping folks within the story - if I saw a giant coming after me, I'd be running for the town guard, didn't see how it all fit together except in a slapdash way.

Let's see, moneylender: mine shows up 3-4 times in the story and is aggressive. His shows up once and is powerful. Character development then doesn't matter

Shocking Arrows, mine are carried by the golem to wake up the sleeping dead (tied into both), his are carried by the lich (moneylender) and are just what is needed to activate this multi-generational, more-powerful-than-any-god golem.

not strong entries, as stated. I thought IS did a better job bringing them into his.

My only real weak point was the bloody dungeon, which was only bloody by tale, a red herriing for the players. The two unique undead were meant to be "survivors" of this dungeon and what it did to people. You didn't see that though.

no I didn't. and it's not my job to mind read. it's yours to present things clearly. which I didn't see. I saw disjointed and confusing. these were not strengths of your entry. Iron Sky may have been long winded, but I didn't have to go looking for connections in his entry either.

I don't mind criticism

sure about that?

...when it is meant to help provide a means to better one's stories, but phoamslinger's criticism was more: your sucks, his is great. And this after delaying the judgement for more than 3 days. Thank you.

you're welcome. and no, his was just better. I wish you had made it a closer contest which would have required more examination from me, but you didn't do that. I found IS's use of each of the six ingredients to be stronger and more memorable, and most importantly, more stongly connected to the other five than I did in yours.

Don't expect me to try this again, I can see that the judges have their favorites. I have been DMing for more than 30 years, I have had some of my adventures written up in Dragon magazine, and at least one editorial about one specific adventure that shocked the editor enough to spend the whole issue talking about it. I know what kind of DM I am.

well nice to meet you ElectricDragon. I haven't hung out on this board in close to five YEARS, so each and everyone of you is indistinguishable from the other. favorites all around.

but tell you what. send your adventure off to the Dragon editors and ask them for a neutral critique as an Iron DM entry (which they should be familiar with). maybe if someone else is critical of it, you'll listen to what was said instead of what you've read into it.

I don't do 4th edition, I don't have a lot of computer savvy, I don't do computer graphics, but my adventures are talked about for years. You should be so lucky to play in one of my campaigns.

running campaigns isn't the same thing as writing adventures. someone published in The Dragon should know that. maybe if you rattled off some of your published adventures, I would be properly respectful of what came across in this post as a full blown childish tantrum.

but then again, since I was one of the core writers of modules for my LG region for three+ years while LG lasted and I don't bother reading Dragon anymore, maybe I wouldn't.

up next, praise for Iron Sky's adventure.

it's long but is a worthwhile read. each of his ingredients tied well to several of the others, would have been a challenge to replace and overall made for a memorable adventure to read. sorry if I didn't go into more detail on it, but I thought it was well done.

 

[Wik]

up next, praise for Iron Sky's adventure.

it's long but is a worthwhile read. each of his ingredients tied well to several of the others, would have been a challenge to replace and overall made for a memorable adventure to read. sorry if I didn't go into more detail on it, but I thought it was well done.

Hey, while you're at it, could you point out where my initial one failed? I could use a bit of critique before round 2.

 

[Wulf Ratbane]

I'd personally appreciate it if this contest could proceed a lot less pissily all around.

 

[phoamslinger]

I'd personally appreciate it if this contest could proceed a lot less pissily all around.

qft

 

[Iron Sky]

phoamslinger, thanks for judging our round. I definitely think my challenge in future rounds will be to make things more concise. Sitting down to write it sparked up so many ideas, I couldn't figure out which ones not to include. Heck, my outline took 3 pages on its own...

I also learned that its better to sit on your adventure over night then look at it the next day than post it as soon as you finish. I spotted a dozen or so typos, unclear sentences, etc. when I re-read it as I was putting up the encounters. Things for next time I guess.

Looking forward to our match Sparky!


As for the "sexual content" that Dave mentioned, I tried to keep it PG-13 (mostly innuendo and implied sexual content). Was that too much for ENWorld? It wasn't my intent to offend anyone...