1001 Villain Sayings/Threats

[shadow]

16) Your pathetic, you sound like a chapter from a selfhelp book
17)NO, DESTROY, DESTROY, DESTROY, I will make a monument to non-existance

Bonus feat: obscure knowledge if you can name where those two came from

Would that happen to be from Final Fantasy 3(6)? The quotes Kefka says before the final battle.

 

[takyris]

[Villain casts fireball]

Villain: My, my, heroes, you look a little charred. And now my henchmen will turn you into SWISS chard! A-hahahahahaha!

Henchman1: Um, boss, I'm not entirely clear on what that means.

Henchman2: Yeah, I mean, we're fighters. It's not like we can Polymorph them.

Villain: No, look, it was a pun. Charred, Chard? 'Cause they were charred, and then you were gonna stab them full of holes?

Henchman1: But Swiss Chard doesn't have holes.

Henchman2: Swiss Cheese has holes, but not Swiss Chard.

Party Member: Well, I guess if you wanna assume that "Swiss", as a rule of thumb, means that it has holes in it, then it sort of makes sense.

Villain: Really, it was just supposed to be a pun.

Henchman1: Chard and cheese don't even rhyme, though.

Henchman2: Plus, we're in the land of Daynork. There's no Switzerland in Daynork, so there's no Swiss.

Party Member: Maybe we can assume that what he really said was some kind of other country in this world where they make cheese with holes in it.

Henchman2: And they're famous for their chard, too?

Party Member: Okay, my bad. Can we just roll initiative?

-Tacky

 

[I'm A Banana]

DANGIT, Shadow beat me!

Yeah, I'm pretty sure that it's from Kefka's infamous final battle speach. The PC's array and condemn him, and then insert the self-help line.

Kefka's got a lot of good lines, actually:

"There's nothing quite like the sound of a thousand voices screaming in unison"

"I HATE....HATE....HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE YOU ALL!"

"Son of a submariner!"

Etc.

 

[Psychotic Jim]

Here's some more I forgot:

"The streets will flow with the blood of the nonbelievers."

"Heeere's Johnny!"

"You are all just in time for your own funerals!"

"Say hello to my little friend." *pulls out weapon of death*

 

[Sixchan]

"Your mother was a Hamster, and your father smelled of Elderberries!"

[to a bard character]
"You Spoony Bard!"

And my absolute favourite (especially if a will save is required afterward) is:
"WHAT'S THAT OVER THERE?"

 

[Talath]

[to a bard character]
"You Spoony Bard!"

LOL! That's my favorite line from that game!

 

[Viking Bastard]

"You are adorable, all of you."

"I've been expecting you mister..."

 

[Mathew_Freeman]

I found being extra nice in tone and style really freaked out my players once.

"You see, I'm rather fond of power. I'd much rather be in charge around here. That way, I can burn this stupid temple down. I like burning things. And you see, you four are the most powerful people around at the moment. So I thought - being an evil genius and suchlike - that I'd send you all off to die. But I noted whilst scrying you that you didn't die, so I assembled some friends and, well, here we are!

I believe this is the part where we have a big fight and I get away without a scratch, possibly killing one of you before I go...what fun, eh?"

Note: The Cleric9 in question did manage to kill a PC, and he did manage to escape. I was so proud of him...

 

[snak]

Before the final dual.

"Look at me and see your death."

After a sucessful backstab using paralytic poison.

"Understand this, as you lay there dying you are not alone. Soon the rest of your kin will follow. The (pc's family name) line stops here."

 

[shadow]

"We have waited centuries for this moment. The rivers will soon run red with the blood of those who oppose us."