Yeah, I generally don't use the loss of a level in my homebrew 3.x games. I use loss of either CON or CHA. I don't like the "lose a level but then earn it back at a faster rate than your companions are progressing." I like my dead characters dead.
I use an either/or everytime a character is raised, unless True Ressurection is used. And I've upped the level of all of those spells, as well as applied other restrictions to them.
The CHA is to represent the loss of one's force of personality after death...I see those that have died and been brought back as becoming more withdrawn, contemplative, etc. I actually wish more players would roleplay their being brought back, instead of just coming back business as usual. For example, have you seen Buffy the Vampire Slayer Season 6 when she is brought back to life? I like the changes that it made to the character.
Each PC is different. I might play a charismatic rogue, a rough around the edges barbarian, a wizard with a silver tongue, a monk who says little, but when he speaks moves mountains. Not every PC has to have a good CHA score to have good personality.