D&D General DM with too High Expectations - Advice?

[Charlaquin]

This reminds me of other threads talking about if the DM has absolute authority. I find this one of those gray areas mostly since it is not really about the game/world.

Yeah. I mean I suppose it’s within the DM’s power to require players to do homework in order to play in their game. But a DM who does that is likely to end up with no players very quickly.

 

[Imaculata]

I don't think I'd ever consider streaming any of my D&D sessions, without asking my players first if they want their faces pasted all over the internet. In fact, I already know their answer.

As a player, I would walk if the DM gave me a bunch of homework and basically decided for me that I was going to be part of his new online show, without asking me first.

 

[Mecheon]

Also, side note: this dude needs a reality check. Brands like Critical Role, The Adventure Zone, and Dice, Camera, Action are successful because their groups consist entirely of people who were already celebrities. Ain’t nobody getting rich and famous for being a DM alone.

Haven't heard of Arcadum, I see, the channel who occaisonally out-does CR on the D&D section on Twitch. Sure some of the success comes from a lot of his folks being famous Twitch folks, but a lot of it is that historic audience

Mind, said Arcadum was a professional DM for years who moved onto streaming due to the suggestion of one of his players who was a well known Twitch streamer so, not fully equatable. And his whole thing is everyone knows he's a streamer so you want into his games for the highly publicised D&D games with a dynamic cast and ridiculous crossover potential because he's a madman who runs like 10 games a week.

 

[Eltab]

"Fred, this is not going to work out. I do not have time to watch videos or fill out paperwork at home; I have to work a job, cook, shop for groceries, keep up my house, raise my kids, &c. Do you want help finding willing volunteers to create a group just for the streaming project?"

 

[Retreater]

I'm still stuck on the point that you wife plays and you do not play with her.

My wife has no desire to play and thinks I waste my time, but at least it is cheaper than when I go golfing. I hear that a lot of people here have husbands and wives that play, so I find that cool. I would think that you have played with your wife and maybe play in other campaigns with her so maybe this game is hers with other friends.

The whole situations sounds like it needs some talking out. Get with the other players and find out their points. If everyone just wants to play, then the DM needs to know.

This reminds me of other threads talking about if the DM has absolute authority. I find this one of those gray areas mostly since it is not really about the game/world.

We play in other games together (with me as GM usually). This game in question is one she was in before we ever met, and I never really fit in with their playstyle. Which is fine. It's not necessarily in her playstyle either, but she likes her friends.

 

[GSHamster]

First off, I don't think streaming is professionals-only. It also seems to be something amateurs do. I'm in an online game guild, and some of our members stream. There seems to be no real reason that they do, we're completely middle-of-the-road, and any audience is minimal. It's just something that is done in certain circles. Maybe this DM just happened to fall into a community where people stream their game.

Second, from the point-of-view of the DM, it's kind of complimentary. He thinks the group is good enough to stream and not be totally embarrassed.

Perhaps a compromise could work. Instead of streaming the session online, record it. Then play it back with the group and see if it's something that you wouldn't be ashamed of. Maybe once the DM sees himself DM, he might have second thoughts.

 

[Guest User]

I will say this as a DM, playing with friends that have 1-2 year olds, is the worst.
Your friends are rolling into the session, sleep deprived, and mostly unaware of what their characters can do and what the rules are, as the parents of these newborns, (legitimately) have other concerns that results in D&D books not being opened outside of game time.

Like a school of fish, half of my group spawned, when 5e came out, and it took 2 years for the group to learn the Short Rest rules. I love my friends, we have gamed together for 20 years now, but it was a hellish, and very tedious 3 years of me as the DM shouldering the load, spending hours planing, and watching, people that are normally very advanced, power gamers just plain suck, for years.

Expecting players to understand basic rules, or how many attacks their 5th level Fighter gets from using Action Surge is not an entirely unreasonable assumption on the part of the DM.

Now of course, for the players that are parents, when grandma takes the children for an hour, and the parent can either eat, sleep, shower, or read the PHB...the PHB is not going to get read.

Now what I really loved, is when I told the group, that I was going to start DMing different campaigns, with the players in our main game that did not have kids, so we could get the complex play we desired...the players with newborns were FoMO upset.
(The Campaign was still going, and still is ongoing, these were new side games)

New parents and people that are going through their Medical School Residency period just lack the time for complex RPG campaigns. All participants in a game should recognize this. I know, I will never try again as the DM to nurse a game to Life, that consists of 50% of the players having newborns...

 

[Paul Farquhar]

Are tools really needed here other than two legs? Just walk.

This is the thing. There are many different ways to run a game of D&D, and none of the are right or wrong. But you need to find a game that suits you. I know my style of DMing isn't for everyone, I wouldn't be offended if someone left the game.

For those of you who say "but there isn't another DM available" I say this - "stop whining and do it yourself!"

And it should be pointed out - DM burnout is a thing.

 

[Larnievc]

No. He's been running for them for around 5 years. He took a month off to "recharge" and is now changing the expectations of their campaign, which has been going on for at least 6 months.

I’d say be open and honest with him. Turning a fun distraction from the day to day grind into part of the day to day grind is not good.

 

[aco175]

I will say this as a DM, playing with friends that have 1-2 year olds, is the worst.

This is only true until those kids are old enough to play and you can let the next generation take over.

The rest of your post sounds like you do not have kids and/or you are more invested in your games more than the others. This tends to be true for DMs in general though. I know I spend more time developing and creating my campaign than the players who tend to just show up. There may be some off game stuff, but very little compared to what I do.