D&D General DM with too High Expectations - Advice?

[Guest User]

This is only true until those kids are old enough to play and you can let the next generation take over.

The rest of your post sounds like you do not have kids and/or you are more invested in your games more than the others. This tends to be true for DMs in general though. I know I spend more time developing and creating my campaign than the players who tend to just show up. There may be some off game stuff, but very little compared to what I do.

Sure, I acknowledged that....but parents that are also gamers have to acknowledge, that those persons in their group that do not have children at very Young ages...probably don't want to to have purgatory style D&D play for a few years.

Part of my group had twins..and no more kids. Their children are 8+ years old and now learning the game. Other friends had a second child, and are back to being sleep deprived....the players that complain most about the reduction in the newborn's parents play quality are the parents of the twins...for them this is the first time they have to experience this from the other side.

Please dont attempt to shame or chastise those of us that have either chosen, or due to biology, do not have children.

I do trail running with a group. A few years ago I suffered a ligament injury, and can't perform at the same level. The running group is still welcoming, but on very long runs, I simply can't keep up anymore. Rather than endanger the group, or force my running buddy to go at a much slower space, I elect to only participate in the events I can hold up my end of the bargain.

D&D is a group game, and groups will bend over backwards to support their friends, but while fear of missing out is valid, sometimes participants have to realize that at times in their life, their obligations in their life outside gaming take precedence, and they need to perhaps take a step back, from gaming for a bit.

 

[Charlaquin]

First off, I don't think streaming is professionals-only. It also seems to be something amateurs do. I'm in an online game guild, and some of our members stream. There seems to be no real reason that they do, we're completely middle-of-the-road, and any audience is minimal. It's just something that is done in certain circles. Maybe this DM just happened to fall into a community where people stream their game.

Certainly, anyone can stream their games if that’s something their group is interested in. But the impression that I got was that this DM was trying to use streaming as a way to “build their brand” and get their name out there as a professional DM, which... Seems unlikely to pan out to me, but sure, you miss 100% of the shots you don’t take and all. The bigger issue from my perspective is that it sounds like the DM is expecting the players to put in a lot of work in service of his quest to “build his brand.” Which doesn’t sit right with me if the players aren’t getting paid for that work.

Second, from the point-of-view of the DM, it's kind of complimentary. He thinks the group is good enough to stream and not be totally embarrassed.

Sure, but that doesn’t mean the players will want to be streamed, let alone do a bunch of extra work away from the table in service of this stream.

Perhaps a compromise could work. Instead of streaming the session online, record it. Then play it back with the group and see if it's something that you wouldn't be ashamed of. Maybe once the DM sees himself DM, he might have second thoughts.

That’s really something for the group to work out together. If everyone involved is onboard with the streaming idea, they should go for it. Where it becomes a problem is when the DM makes the decision for the players and starts assigning them homework they didn’t ask for.

 

[iserith]

I will at least give props to the DM here who appears to be trying to put some thought into making a good streamed game rather than just broadcasting a game that people shouldn't even be playing in let alone streaming, which is most of the streams I see out there.

 

[billd91]

a game that people shouldn't even be playing in let alone streaming

What does that mean?

 

[prabe]

What does that mean?

It sounds to me as though @iserith finds most of the games that are streamed boring to watch, and probably the kind/s of games they'd find boring to play in, even.

 

[Oofta]

What does that mean?

They find streams like Critical Role extremely boring, not sure what kind of game they would enjoy watching or if there even is one.

 

[Charlaquin]

They find streams like Critical Role extremely boring, not sure what kind of game they would enjoy watching or if there even is one.

They liked Perception Check as I recall. Mostly because it’s very funny.

 

[prabe]

They liked Perception Check as I recall. Mostly because it’s very funny.

I believe they've said humor was very important to them at a TRPG table.

 

[TaranTheWanderer]

I've had a DM say that he wanted to stream and I said,

"I don't really feel comfortable being recorded for a game, so I would prefer if you didn't do that."

In the end, no streaming because he respected my boundaries.

The same thing you do when deciding what kind of content you are going to have in your game: horror, comedy, sex, PG13, Rated R etc...

For the record, I sometimes give players homework like, "make a location and a face to go with that location that your character might be tied to."

It gets done 50% of the time and I don't harp on people if they don't do it. I'm doing it for them after all and, if they don't want to do it then...shrug

In short: If she's not comfortable being streamed or being in a game, just respectfully say so. If the work is too much, just say, "I don't really have any extra time this week to do this stuff, sorry." He should respect the boundaries each player agrees to.

 

[iserith]

It sounds to me as though @iserith finds most of the games that are streamed boring to watch, and probably the kind/s of games they'd find boring to play in, even.

And there's so many streamed games where there is obvious dysfunction and dissatisfaction in the group. It's painfully on display.