I guess that lack of movie exposure, combined with the fact that I never read any S&S material until I was in college, probably explains why I've never felt S&S to have any D&D resonance. For me, D&D has always been a mix of Dragonlance, Final Fantasy, and a lot of anime.
If you have never seen John Boorman's Excalibur you really should - it is a masterpiece of Arthurian romance which (in my view) reframes the archaism in a way suitable for a modern audience, and also has an excellent Wagnerian soudtrack. At least for me, it is the definitive presentation of the knightly ethos in a way that makes it accessible for playing paladins and the like in D&D.dark and gritty has just never been my preferred fantasy flavor. I like my fantasy in full CGI Technicolor.
I agree with you in preferring romantic to gritty fantasy. That said, at least some S&S is not as gritty as all that. REH's Conan, for instance, is often mentioned as an inspiriation for self-serving D&D "murder hobos", but in fact most of the time Conan sacrifices the loot for doing the right thing - most of the looting occurs off-panel, in reminiscences or plans for the future. It's certainly quite romantic in its orientation compared to a group of 9th level psychos butchering and then looting the Steading of the Hill Giant Chieftain!