AaronOfBarbaria
Adventurer
Thanks for sharing your point of view so I could better understand where you were coming from.Allowing something implies permission to someone else, and I've never heard of a player asking the DM permission for the DM use something. Very few people would use the work "allow" when referencing themselves (dieting is the only example I can think of). When referring to oneself, most people would use the phrase "DMs use."
I suppose the reason for the different understanding comes down to that I as a DM have always disagreed with the old sentiment (found in the AD&D 2nd DMG, if not also other places) that players are inherently going to be trying to get one over on the DM or squeeze out unfair advantages (and thus would approach character options looking to "sneak" something into the game that makes them "win"), so I don't normally think of things like that a DM would be saying "I don't allow 3rd party material" meaning not that they don't allow their single cooperative team (the way I view myself and my players, as we all have the same goal of shared enjoyment - not the AD&D 2nd assumed DM trying to have a fun game and players trying to wreck shop and embarrass/agitate the DM), but that they don't let the other team that is the players have access to the same kinds of tools that they give their team access to.
As for players asking the DM for permission for the DM to use something - I have had that happen quite a few times. Since that is what asking me to run a particular system ("Can we play some Shadowrun?"), or adventure ("Since we TPKed in Swords & Wizardy, but it was totally fun, can you convert Rappan Athuk to 5th edition?"), or to check out a particular product ("My other group was talking about a Book of Lost Spells that got put out. Maybe there are some cool spells in it?"), or even just include a particular theme/trope ("Can we go to war in this campaign?") is doing, and that is not a rarity in my experience.