[MENTION=27570]sheadunne[/MENTION] What you saw manifest in play is probably 3 (maybe even 4) different playstyle agendas going on between the players. I'm pretty malleable as a GM (pacing, genre conceits and creative agenda) but my preferences is are something of collage of Die Hard meets Indiana Jones meets Spaghetti Western. The latter part may seem to make the whole disfunctional but I find that its a gear and mood that I can hit relatively seemlessly even if play is primarily about the big damn hero stuff. I'm a big fan of the 4e Minor and Major quest system because it truly helps to calibrate playstyle expectations and content that you will be mutually engaging with as a group. This certainly helps alleviate some of what you speak to. However, sometimes players just want different things and that is that.
I can see that. As I said, I think it works. I think it would work exceeding well in a group of gamers that are familiar with each other and have similar agendas. As a DM I think formalizing some of the intent through quests (major/minor) would be a valuable asset for determining what to focus on as a DM during play.
Again, this is my multiple gaming personality disorder talking. As a DM I am more interested in a variation of your style than I probably am as a player. As a player I'm all about the big story, the link between the characters. As a DM I like to delve a little deeper into each players uniqueness. It's probably why I DM more than I play. A single character doesn't usually meet my gaming needs and so I want to focus on the bigger stuff.