Game session abruptly canceled

[Cathix]

With respect Steel_Wind
Expressing my dissappointment makes me a jerk?
Here's a clue for you: The kids' mother K was in on the planning from the get go.
I don't expect anyone to place me or D&D before their family. I expect just the opposite in fact. I never said my feelings were reasonable or logical, but that doesn't make them any less valid. Thank you though for your considerate thoughts.

I don't think your expressing disappointment makes you a jerk at all. When any one of us loses our temper, though, odds are we're going to look less than appealing. It's happened to the best of us. Last minute cancellations are infuriating universally.

When you've got kids, last minute cancellations, unfortunately, happen all the time. It wasn't so much the parents who bailed on you last minute, it was the person they had lined up to watch the kids.

If you are all still on speaking terms, why not suggest to have the game at their house? My fiance and I have two kids and I wouldn't dream of rangling up a babysitter every week (and actually now, we play twice a week). We have everyone come over our house. It's just easier that way.

Good luck resolving the issues and I hope you get to game soon!

edit: didn't see that the OP gave an update; oops.

 

[Cathix]

There are several issues here, but I don't think that actually stating your feelings is a problem..but like online....before you hit the SEND button, think for a second

Other than that, you've got several problems:
1. You don't have a set schedule
2. You don't have table rules that already say what the deal is
3. You are gaming with a married couple
4. You don't have enough players
5. NEVER get kids involved with gaming. Either you have a baby sitter or not. This needs to be planned a week in advance. If you're dealing with unreliable people, get them the heck out of your life.

jh

Wow. That's a problem? Oookay.

 

[moritheil]

Hooray, happy ending!

 

[Kae'Yoss]

Wow. That's a problem? Oookay.

Not as such, but it can lead to other problems*. I don't think they apply here, though.


*There's some things you'd like to be aware of if your gaming group includes couples (married or not):

• Breakups can tear gaming groups apart
• If one of the two is the DM, he might favour his SO, or the SO might expect it from him.
• Ingame relations (flirting, actual affairs or even marriage) with one of the couple might make the other jealous, especially if they can't keep ingame and out of game apart, or one of the ingame flirters goes too far (with or without realising this).

Many of these problems aren't really due to having a couple aboard, but one or both people being complete jerks, but many wouldn't occur if you had a single jerk in the group.

Of course, you should not let this keep you from playing with couples (unless they're jerks, but then of course I would advice against playing with either of them, anyway).

 

[Kastil]

*There's some things you'd like to be aware of if your gaming group includes couples (married or not):

• Breakups can tear gaming groups apart
• If one of the two is the DM, he might favour his SO, or the SO might expect it from him.
• Ingame relations (flirting, actual affairs or even marriage) with one of the couple might make the other jealous, especially if they can't keep ingame and out of game apart, or one of the ingame flirters goes too far (with or without realising this).

You see, this is where maturity of the couples would come in. I'd say most couples have boundaries when gaming and I can honestly say when my husband and I gamed together in a group, our characters didn't always hook up. When I saw the DM trying to 'make it happen', I switched to playing guy characters so it wouldn't. The few games I played in where my husband DMed, he seemed he was harder on me than anyone else in the group. I never caught a 'break'.

Not that we all havevn't read a thread where games go sour because of couples but isn't that what house rules/code of conducts are for? Know your limits and boundaries.

 

[DonTadow]

It might hurt, but you are out of line in the way you expressed your frustration. Yes, you were frustrated, but calling osmeone and telling them off is not the wayto handle it.
There are more creative ways to handle this frustratation.

YOu are an adult, and so are your players. When adult situations such as kids and family come up, there is nothing anyone can do about it. Your friend told you there was a possibility they couldn't make it. You knew that this wierd new change of venue would pose problems. Try not to get your hopes up when the chances of what you're expecting is so low.

 

[DonTadow]

The only demographic you should worry with about your gaming friends is maturity and if you can get along with them. Marriage has little to do with it. I"vehad great games with married people. My wife and i have gamed together for four years. The key is seperating your personal life from your gaming life.

Same with kids, one of the best players i've played with was an eight year old kid whom was extremely mature for his age, had a great grasp of the rules and could role play very well. Oddly enough he was a better gamer than all three of his brothers, (one of which was a 25 year old).

 

[werk]

They are called emotions, and most people have them. It doesn't make them a jerk. And FWIW, I'd rather be called a jerk and stand up for myself than let someone think that canceling on me at the last minute is an acceptable practice.

Having had a messy break-up with my last group, I have to quote this for truth.

It seems that when a majority are in the wrong, it doesn't matter who's wrong anymore, just that you are odd man out.

For instance, when you (I) get stood up after driving a hour to play for the fourth time because someone forgot to call you, again,..saying "It'll never happen again." is a threat!?!

Change is (usually) good.

 

[DonTadow]

Having had a messy break-up with my last group, I have to quote this for truth.

It seems that when a majority are in the wrong, it doesn't matter who's wrong anymore, just that you are odd man out.

For instance, when you (I) get stood up after driving a hour to play for the fourth time because someone forgot to call you, again,..saying "It'll never happen again." is a threat!?!

Change is (usually) good.

Everyone gets angry, how you express that anger is what makes you a jerk or not. This was a jerk reaction considering the situation. If you can't understand that people have family situations, then you should not game with people who have families.

 

[Anti-Sean]

Hey! My parents took us to all their D&D games. That's how I got started!

-Hyp.

Wait, is that supposed to disprove his point, or prove it?