Honestly a touching story. I hope that Pleasant-Odor one day meets Polly Pureheart from upthread.
D&D 5E Give me your craziest, most GONZO PC concepts!
Honestly a touching story. I hope that Pleasant-Odor one day meets Polly Pureheart from upthread.
...and have a litter of alliterative pups...
Mad_Jack
Legend
K'rik'ik't'kik
K'rik'ik't'kik is a 3.5 E. kobold sorcerer/rogue who was passed over when the chance came to become the next apprentice to his tribe's sorcerer, for what passes as "political" reasons in a kobold tribe. He got no respect within his tribe at all, and was very angry about this. When the tribe was conscripted as cannon fodder by an evil wizard, K'rik was sort of adopted by the wizard as a pet/servant/assistant. The wizard found it amusing to dress K'rik as a human and watch him try to mimic the wizard's behavior. He even gave K'rik his own "spellbook", and managed to teach him a small handful of spells. In K'rik's mind, he was being trained to become a powerful wizard, and finally getting the respect he was due for his magical abilities.
When the wizard's evil army was defeated by a party of adventurers and he was "freed" from his "servitude", K'rik'ik't'kik decided he'd earn even more respect and power as an adventurer.
Although actually reasonably intelligent, K'rik'ik't'kik doesn't truly have more than a basic understanding of human behavior, culture, morals and ethics (and learned from an evil wizard, at that) - he mimics things that others do, but often has no understanding of why people do things, or don't do things. K'rik dresses as a typical adventurer and does his best to act in a way that he believes will get people to take him seriously. He's very eager to please people he holds in high regard and is constantly seeking validation and friendship from others. (Sort of like a psychotic version of Chester, the dog from the old Chester and Spike cartoons..."Wanna play fetch, Spike? Huh? Huh? You wanna play fetch?", but more like, "We kill 'em now, Boss? C'mon, I kill 'em for ya, Boss. I kill 'em good.")
He often becomes frustrated when he doesn't succeed, though, and reverts back to his more kobold-like tendencies. He is essentially a functional sociopath who gets along well with others as long as he feels they respect him and his magical abilities. When he feels he's being disrespected, he tends to throw tantrums. And Fireballs.
Unfortunately for K'rik'ik't'kik, while he insists that his name is a Draconic phrase (he doesn't actually speak Draconic) that translates into Common as "Heart of Dragons", as befits his sorcerous heritage... the literal translation of it is much closer to "Wyrmguts".
Lothenarion Lograrathion, 3.5 elf/orc hybrid
"Lothar", as he prefers to be called, has an elvish father and an orcish mother. He's a fighter/rogue. Lothar has an 18 Strength, 17 Dexterity, a 13 Intelligence... And a 16 Charisma.
He's 6 feet 6 inches tall and weighs 250 lbs. of finely sculpted solid muscle - yet dresses as a fashionable fop (broad-brimmed hat with a plume and all) and carries a rapier and dagger. The combination of his elvish and orcish parentage has given him roughly handsome features, and with his high charisma Lothar is quite the ladykiller.
Which, of course, in no way detracts from his ability to kill other things... He once beheaded someone with his rapier.
K'rik'ik't'kik is a 3.5 E. kobold sorcerer/rogue who was passed over when the chance came to become the next apprentice to his tribe's sorcerer, for what passes as "political" reasons in a kobold tribe. He got no respect within his tribe at all, and was very angry about this. When the tribe was conscripted as cannon fodder by an evil wizard, K'rik was sort of adopted by the wizard as a pet/servant/assistant. The wizard found it amusing to dress K'rik as a human and watch him try to mimic the wizard's behavior. He even gave K'rik his own "spellbook", and managed to teach him a small handful of spells. In K'rik's mind, he was being trained to become a powerful wizard, and finally getting the respect he was due for his magical abilities.
When the wizard's evil army was defeated by a party of adventurers and he was "freed" from his "servitude", K'rik'ik't'kik decided he'd earn even more respect and power as an adventurer.
Although actually reasonably intelligent, K'rik'ik't'kik doesn't truly have more than a basic understanding of human behavior, culture, morals and ethics (and learned from an evil wizard, at that) - he mimics things that others do, but often has no understanding of why people do things, or don't do things. K'rik dresses as a typical adventurer and does his best to act in a way that he believes will get people to take him seriously. He's very eager to please people he holds in high regard and is constantly seeking validation and friendship from others. (Sort of like a psychotic version of Chester, the dog from the old Chester and Spike cartoons..."Wanna play fetch, Spike? Huh? Huh? You wanna play fetch?", but more like, "We kill 'em now, Boss? C'mon, I kill 'em for ya, Boss. I kill 'em good.")
He often becomes frustrated when he doesn't succeed, though, and reverts back to his more kobold-like tendencies. He is essentially a functional sociopath who gets along well with others as long as he feels they respect him and his magical abilities. When he feels he's being disrespected, he tends to throw tantrums. And Fireballs.
Unfortunately for K'rik'ik't'kik, while he insists that his name is a Draconic phrase (he doesn't actually speak Draconic) that translates into Common as "Heart of Dragons", as befits his sorcerous heritage... the literal translation of it is much closer to "Wyrmguts".
Lothenarion Lograrathion, 3.5 elf/orc hybrid
"Lothar", as he prefers to be called, has an elvish father and an orcish mother. He's a fighter/rogue. Lothar has an 18 Strength, 17 Dexterity, a 13 Intelligence... And a 16 Charisma.
He's 6 feet 6 inches tall and weighs 250 lbs. of finely sculpted solid muscle - yet dresses as a fashionable fop (broad-brimmed hat with a plume and all) and carries a rapier and dagger. The combination of his elvish and orcish parentage has given him roughly handsome features, and with his high charisma Lothar is quite the ladykiller.
Which, of course, in no way detracts from his ability to kill other things... He once beheaded someone with his rapier.
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Lothar's family reunions must be murder...
ArchfiendBobbie
First Post
I had fun with this one.
Goodwrench Badfellow, the Good Lich God of Confusion
Goodwrench Badfellow was a "giant halfling" (really-tall human raised by psychotic, Belkar-like halflings) who honestly believed himself to be the living embodiment of evil. He spends most of his time rather confused as to why he has so many angels as servants.
Anyway, the opening RP, when the group gathers the night before the adventure starts... Goodwrench didn't make it to the meet. The group had been hired as mercenaries for the lord of the town to deal with rumors of undead in the cemetery. As Goodwrench approached the house they were meeting in, a passing guard commented on his height. The poor, confused Goodwrench had been picked and abused a lot by his "parents" over how tall he was, and reacted exactly the way his childhood had taught him to... by kicking the guard between the legs, grabbing the guards arm while the guard was bent over, and forcing the guard to beat himself subconscious while shouting, "Stop hitting yourself!"
Long story short, the first meeting was moved from the house to the local jail, where the lord and the rest of the party took turns giving Goodwrench death glares while the mission. And the mission was simple: Find the skeletons that are rumored to be rising up, put them back down. The rest of the party was on-board. Goodwrench thought this would be a perfect time to prove his evilness, but was smart enough not to say anything.
So, the group arrives at the cemetery, spots the skeletons, and starts immediately drawing up a plan of attack. Goodwrench is the only one paying any attention at all to the skeletons, mostly because he's trying to figure out how to turn this to a display of his evilness. And then he noticed something: The skeletons were acting like normal people. One successful, lucky knowledge roll later and he realized that these were not normal skeletons at all. So he wanders over to talk to one while the group is still distracted (arguing at this point where to place the healer). After a bit of talking with the skeletons, he discovers they are normal people, but are under a curse placed on them by the lord of the town. He's immediately thinking this isn't right, as how can he possibly do something truly dastardly with fake skeletons?
Just as the party finally works out leadership, a battleplan, and that the battleplan has already gone straight into the sewer because one of the party members is already over at the skeletons... Goodwrench announces he's leading the skeletons in a revolt to undo the injustice upon them and reclaim what they lost. And with no more explanation than that, he turns to lead both the skeletons and the party back to town.
The players were dumbfounded. The DM was in tears as she tried to hold back laughter at the looks on their faces. And after a short break while everyone else caught up to where I was at and the DM laughed in privacy, we got the joy of watching her quickly shuffle papers since I had just skipped about four hours of adventure. Oops.
The revolt went rather well, the lord was killed, the people restored. And then Goodwrench got his second sentence for kicking guard between the legs commuted due to community service. The guards just could not help but be amazed at how tall he was.
The group stayed together for quite some time. During that time, Goodwrench saved a number of towns by doing things such as convincing goblins to give up raiding to become cheese farmers (and selling them over-aged wheels of cheese from a nearby farmstead 'to get them started'), courting a vampiress just so he could steal from her while she slept, attaining lich-hood by selling his soul to a demon in exchange for becoming a lich and then filibustering on signing the contract that the demon granted his wish without payment just to end the encounter, defeating a dragon by challenging it to a dance-off and then starting to take off his clothes while dancing, and preventing an unjust war by proposing to the Queen while the King was still in the room during the reward ceremony for chasing off the dragon.
Naturally, he got a nobility title out of that reward ceremony, but did it through the most unconventional way possible. When the King told him to grab what treasure he could carry and get out in response to the proposal, Goodwrench picked up the princess. And then beat a hasty retreat while the guards were too shocked to respond and the King was sputtering in Angrish.
The best part? He worshiped himself as a god. So imagine everyone's surprise when, after spending five hours making a completely insane argument while dancing like a madman in front of a demon lord to stop an invasion to the mortal plane, he suddenly found he could cast divine spells granted to him by the god he worshiped. Even the gods themselves were completely baffled by it.
We had given up any pretense of it being a remotely serious game by the point I took that level in cleric, so it wasn't out of place.
Goodwrench Badfellow, the Good Lich God of Confusion
Goodwrench Badfellow was a "giant halfling" (really-tall human raised by psychotic, Belkar-like halflings) who honestly believed himself to be the living embodiment of evil. He spends most of his time rather confused as to why he has so many angels as servants.
Anyway, the opening RP, when the group gathers the night before the adventure starts... Goodwrench didn't make it to the meet. The group had been hired as mercenaries for the lord of the town to deal with rumors of undead in the cemetery. As Goodwrench approached the house they were meeting in, a passing guard commented on his height. The poor, confused Goodwrench had been picked and abused a lot by his "parents" over how tall he was, and reacted exactly the way his childhood had taught him to... by kicking the guard between the legs, grabbing the guards arm while the guard was bent over, and forcing the guard to beat himself subconscious while shouting, "Stop hitting yourself!"
Long story short, the first meeting was moved from the house to the local jail, where the lord and the rest of the party took turns giving Goodwrench death glares while the mission. And the mission was simple: Find the skeletons that are rumored to be rising up, put them back down. The rest of the party was on-board. Goodwrench thought this would be a perfect time to prove his evilness, but was smart enough not to say anything.
So, the group arrives at the cemetery, spots the skeletons, and starts immediately drawing up a plan of attack. Goodwrench is the only one paying any attention at all to the skeletons, mostly because he's trying to figure out how to turn this to a display of his evilness. And then he noticed something: The skeletons were acting like normal people. One successful, lucky knowledge roll later and he realized that these were not normal skeletons at all. So he wanders over to talk to one while the group is still distracted (arguing at this point where to place the healer). After a bit of talking with the skeletons, he discovers they are normal people, but are under a curse placed on them by the lord of the town. He's immediately thinking this isn't right, as how can he possibly do something truly dastardly with fake skeletons?
Just as the party finally works out leadership, a battleplan, and that the battleplan has already gone straight into the sewer because one of the party members is already over at the skeletons... Goodwrench announces he's leading the skeletons in a revolt to undo the injustice upon them and reclaim what they lost. And with no more explanation than that, he turns to lead both the skeletons and the party back to town.
The players were dumbfounded. The DM was in tears as she tried to hold back laughter at the looks on their faces. And after a short break while everyone else caught up to where I was at and the DM laughed in privacy, we got the joy of watching her quickly shuffle papers since I had just skipped about four hours of adventure. Oops.
The revolt went rather well, the lord was killed, the people restored. And then Goodwrench got his second sentence for kicking guard between the legs commuted due to community service. The guards just could not help but be amazed at how tall he was.
The group stayed together for quite some time. During that time, Goodwrench saved a number of towns by doing things such as convincing goblins to give up raiding to become cheese farmers (and selling them over-aged wheels of cheese from a nearby farmstead 'to get them started'), courting a vampiress just so he could steal from her while she slept, attaining lich-hood by selling his soul to a demon in exchange for becoming a lich and then filibustering on signing the contract that the demon granted his wish without payment just to end the encounter, defeating a dragon by challenging it to a dance-off and then starting to take off his clothes while dancing, and preventing an unjust war by proposing to the Queen while the King was still in the room during the reward ceremony for chasing off the dragon.
Naturally, he got a nobility title out of that reward ceremony, but did it through the most unconventional way possible. When the King told him to grab what treasure he could carry and get out in response to the proposal, Goodwrench picked up the princess. And then beat a hasty retreat while the guards were too shocked to respond and the King was sputtering in Angrish.
The best part? He worshiped himself as a god. So imagine everyone's surprise when, after spending five hours making a completely insane argument while dancing like a madman in front of a demon lord to stop an invasion to the mortal plane, he suddenly found he could cast divine spells granted to him by the god he worshiped. Even the gods themselves were completely baffled by it.
We had given up any pretense of it being a remotely serious game by the point I took that level in cleric, so it wasn't out of place.
Hathorym
Explorer
I once played a little kobold named Kanibink who was kicked out of his tribe for being... colorful. At first, he tried to be a druid, but that wasn't all that exiting. But as fate would have it, being a lone kobold pleading for his life, an adventuring wizard took pity on him and invited to go with them. They soon discovered that Kanibink had a knack for magic, and he began casting spells in no time. But there was one slight issue. Kanibink refused to cast any spell that did not have multiple hues, making color spray his favorite spell, obviously. And that is how Kanibink of the Rainbow began his path to being the only prismatic specialist in the Realms.
I had come across this story while loafing around on the Internet around the time that 5e D&D came out:
"Páll Stefánsson makes percussion instruments out of natural materials. Heima shows Stefánsson tirelessly testing stones, checking the tone each makes, so that he can build a stone marimba. Each stone is carefully balanced on a wooden framework overlaid with cut strips of Icelandic woolen jumpers to create the needed resonance."
Inspired by this RW musician/inventor, I created a multiclass Bard/Monk who would catch sling stones cast her way, and in the midst of combat, tap them to determine their musical quality.
"Páll Stefánsson makes percussion instruments out of natural materials. Heima shows Stefánsson tirelessly testing stones, checking the tone each makes, so that he can build a stone marimba. Each stone is carefully balanced on a wooden framework overlaid with cut strips of Icelandic woolen jumpers to create the needed resonance."
Inspired by this RW musician/inventor, I created a multiclass Bard/Monk who would catch sling stones cast her way, and in the midst of combat, tap them to determine their musical quality.
Looking for stones which would make his opponents B flat?
Lanefan
Victoria Rules
Pure brilliance, particularly the princess move! Love it!
Lan-"this guy can be on my team anytime"-efan
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