Have someone carry you around in a bullseye lantern.
This idea makes sense for almost any of the suggested classes, actually.
Lazy Warlord: The lantern contains a tiny study with a comfy chair, bookshelves stuffed to bursting with reference works on the history of combat, one of those ashtrays on a fancy pedestal, a clawed footstool, and another much smaller bullseye lantern hung for use as a reading light. Professor Pix lounges in a smoking jacket and well-worn slippers, enjoying his pipe and offering sage advice to his "students."
Vampire: The lantern is styled like a fanged skull. It sloshes slightly and its worn brass jaw is stained with trails of brown and red corrosion. A tiny onyx set deep in the shadow of one eye socket allows Count Pixatus to see without suffering; the lantern is designed with powerful spring hinged so it can only be opened or closed quickly from the inside. If he sees a need to strike- or spots a delicious throat to slake his thirst- he will throw the switch and emerge as a
streak of dark.
Generic "bad actor" Defender: The lantern looks normal, but it unfolds like a fisherman's tackle box into a small but well-appointed stage. Dimunitive
everburning torches along the bottom edge shine through colored lenses the size of a human eye, each lens chosen just before opening for maximum dramatic effect. Pixantalus the Eloquent can also reach into the rigging overhead to pull down a speaking-tube which magnifies his already
shockingly loud voice, the better to share his lines- extemporized or merely selected from an appropriate great play- with the audience. A flask of water is cleverly concealed in the rear of the lantern, just in case anyone cares to send flowers after the performance is over.
Crazy Wings: The lantern looks normal, if a little in need of repair- several tiny screws and pins are missing and the whole thing looks like it's been rattling around in the back of a wagon with shot springs. Every glass piece is cracked and every metal plate is dented. On closer examination, the dents are all facing outward. When things start to get stressful, the lantern starts to shake- just a little at first, but more and more- as though it contains a million incredibly angry hornets. If this simple intimidation is enough, Crazy Wings stays in his restraints... but when worst comes to worst, he bursts forth, sending lantern fragments everywhere as he unlimbers a disproportionately large axe and shield. After the battle someone will need to collect and reassemble the pieces, if they can find enough.
Fear-based Warlock: Ah! His eye! His terrible eye, like a vulture's eye! And the sound from within, like the sound of a watch wrapped in cotton...
