Nemesis Destiny
Adventurer
The bolded section of this statement is something of a sticking point in these arguments. The way you've worded it makes it sound like what you're really against is the perception of player-entitlement versus GM authority within the rules.I sort of agree this where things turn. The problem is if the rules support player agency over setting fidelty, that will bother groups who want setting fidelty. If you o things the opposite way, the you have the reverse problem. I can assure you, just as it bothers you when the GM makes a judgment against your character based on what he thinks would plausibly occur, it bother me when the GM lets you do something because it is genre appropriate or dramatic, but flies against what I regard as plausible.
One of the many problems with this approach as @Balesir very nicely illustrated above, is that often what a given GM finds plausible, is utter nonsense. This happens all the time with GM judgements in a "rulings not rules" environment, because most of us are not experts at all the subjects a given game is likely to run across.
That is one reason why I think it's better to let genre-appropriateness and dramatic tension drive decisions, rather than some GM's wonky idea of how "reality" works (because most of us will get it wrong). For the same reason, I find the attempts of verbose effect descriptions to cover all kinds of side-effects dubious at best, and immersion-wrecking at worst (the AD&D and SRD fireball is a prime example of this).
I'm not trying to fault those who want a process-sim game that models a fictional "reality" - but how do you go about modelling that reality when most people don't have a clue as to how it really works or should work?
This becomes especially problematic when you introduce "magic" elements into things. How does magic interact with physics? Even a magical fireball has a specific temperature in AD&D - it specifies how it affects certain metals for example (though I largely suspect that this was a misguided attempt to "balance" the spell in dungeon encounters), but how does that affect humanoid flesh? I'm no expert, but I'm fairly certain that any heat sufficient to melt metals, even soft ones, is going to outright kill any fleshy thing caught in the blast, and yet characters survive fireballs (or dragon breath, etc) on a regular basis. Now that breaks my brain and sense of immersion.
As I alluded to above, I think the style divide is more along the line of Player Agency vs. DM authority than sim vs narrative. You can still have a completely logically simulated environment (in theory) in which the fiction is the focal point, but it's a lot harder to do compelling fiction in a world of arbitrary and nonsensical judgements, IMO.I think this is a genuine style divide and the best solution is to acknowledge that and come up with mechanical options that allow both sides to get what they want without imposing it on the other. I think where they made a mistke last time, was favoring one approach. It would be a mistake to do that again (even if they favor my style). Clearly this matters a lot to players and I think most of these debates over 4E ave involved lots of discussions and arguments over genre, believability, story versus setting etc. it really seems to be at the heart of a lot of the division. Probably wise for them to explore.