Medieval-Style Insults, or: How to start a tavern fight in under six seconds.

[spunky_mutters]

or:

"Wee Jas, more like Hugh Jas."

 

[alsih2o]

to half-orc "so, was your which parent was human, and which one was stupid?"

 

[thalmin]

(If a dwarf is speaking) What do you call an elf that marries an orc? A social climber.
What's dumber than a dumb orc? A smart elf.

 

[Hand of Evil]

Oh, The History Channel just had a bit about this! In the middle ages the insults were based on inabilities, disabilities, dirt and animals! (there were some other stuff).

"You are as filty as a one legged dog, rubbing its butt in the mud!"

 

[Hand of Evil]

personal favorite: "your mothers privates smell of goblin offal"

What are you doing with your nose in my mother's outhouse?

OR

Was my mother sitting on your face, that explains that!

 

[Furn_Darkside]

Salutations,

I played a wizard who had a great sense of self-worth, he once said something along the following lines to a thief pc who tended to say stupid things in an attempt to be funny.

"Max, when the day comes that I tire of your attempts at wit, we will have to find you a woman of appropriate mental prowess for you to retire and marry. Until then, please sit there and do not interrupt."

FD

 

[Shiv]

Oh, The History Channel just had a bit about this! In the middle ages the insults were based on inabilities, disabilities, dirt and animals! (there were some other stuff).

"You are as filty as a one legged dog, rubbing its butt in the mud!"

Very true. Being a bit of a Renaissnace-o-phile, I've had the opportunity to learn to turn a person's qualities on them.

(getting into dialect and proper grammar mode)

"Were thy nose not of such great stature, then surely the sun would have burned away your lips, leaving me a contented man for not having to listen to thee speak. Alas, my luck, thy nose is enormous."

"The stench emanating from thy mouth would kill many a small dog, were it not for the fact that the mere sight of thy spotty, worm-ridden face frightens them so as to avoid thy presence entirely."

And so forth.

 

[lord irial]

Here's a link to quotes from Shakespeare, always appropriate to fantasy gaming:

Shakespearean Insult Generator

...and one of Elizabethan insults: Elizabethan Insults

Thou blunt monster with uncounted heads! - Henry IV, part 2

 

[S'mon]

My favourite, from 'My Family & Other Animals' by Gerald Durrell:

"You illegitimate son of a diseased whore!"

 

[CRG]

Did no one play the Moria PC/unix game? Bargaining in that game was fabulous...

"Your mother was a troll!"