Nervousness over meeting the family, how to get past it?

[blackshirt5]

OK, I'm going down on the 23rd to meet my girlfriend Brooke's family. And I mean her WHOLE family. I've already met her mom, her stepdad, and her younger sister; her mom and her stepdad love me, her sister's ambivalent(the little snot keeps trying to convince Brooke that she can do better and trying to hook her up with the "hot guys" they go to school with). Now, I get to meet the rest of them. Aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents, and friends of the family(including a guy that Brooke had a little fling with who already has decided he hates me, apparently).

Is there any method to get past the INSANE case of nerves I'm developing? I know that showing up high out of my mind isn't a good idea but that's always been my traditional cure for a case of nervousness(or it was before I gave the stuff up about a year ago). I REALLY want her family to like me, and I'm not sure what to do. Should I just show up, chill out, and not say much?

 

[Umbran]

Is there any method to get past the INSANE case of nerves I'm developing?

Sorry to say, but no, there isn't.

I cannot speak for this specific case, but traditionally the extended family doesnt have much influence. If Mom and Dad like you, and Sis doesn't hate you, you're already in pretty good shape. You don't have to make these other folks like you. You just have to make is so they don't dislike you.

So, avoid politics and religion as topics of discussion. If you hold controversial views, or someone spouts such a view that you disagree with, keep your trap shut. Be unfailingly polite and attentive to those who speak to you, and all that.

 

[diaglo]

there is absolutely no way for you to remain quiet.

the family is going to riddle you with questions and try to get you to reveal intimate things about yourself.

like how much money do you make? what are your long term plans with Brooke? how much time do you spend together?


the only possible things i can think that will help are:

1) BUickkk. and then claim you have a 24 hr viral bug. every time you get nervous head to the bathroom and claim you are having a repeat episode.

2) Be honest. Be cordial. Be yourself.


i'd choose 2 if you really care about Brooke. but if you just want to get thru the visit choose 1.

 

[Crothian]

Just be Blackshirt.

 

[Altamont Ravenard]

1) BUickkk.

lol I thought you meant for him to arrive in a buick, because everyone loves someone who drives a buick

As for the case at hand, I would really suggest that you avoid getting high for this.

Be friendly, be clean, be attentive, be smiling

just be

*BUickkk*

 

[ASH]

Dress nicely...
Be nice...
Now is a time when you learn about her.. and her family. Pay attention. Knowing someone starts with knowing where they come from.
As far as being nervous... deal, its worth it.

 

[takyris]

Just avoid the urge to compensate for feeling nervous by doing something -- like getting high, wearing a stupid shirt, or showing up with a bunch of bootlegged pron to relieve tension.

At those things, about the best you can aim for is "Oh, he was quiet and a bit nervous but seemed like a nice guy."

Which, oddly, applies equally well to new boyfriends and serial killers.

 

[diaglo]

"Oh, he was quiet and a bit nervous but seemed like a nice guy."

that sounds like all the ENWurlders i met at Gen Con last year. alsih2o included.

i was the Grateful Dead t-shirt, baggy shorts, flip flops, beard, and beer breath guy.

 

[Angcuru]

Just be Blackshirt.

...and be a bloody smear on the wall when you inadvertantly anger her big Uncle Charlie, who is 6'6 and 400 lbs of muscle, with a bad attitude. [/joke(?)]

1. SMILE and NOD.

2. Think before you think before you THINK BEFORE you speak. (Can't emphasize this enough with you.)

3. Remember, being liked by her parents is the important thing. You'll likely see these people only once or twice more in your life if you stay with Brooke, so don't worry too much.

 

[Ashwyn]

I've had to deal with this twice, and I just showed looking nice and presentable, was polite, and answered their questions. It's not really that big of a deal unless her other relatives rule her life, so don't be so nervous. And don't be yourself. Be yourself, toned down. Unless you are already toned down, but most people aren't. If people acted the way they act when they are alone or among friends when meeting their SO's family, there'd be a lot more Vegas weddings.