[OT] Hey there, Dr. Midnight, what's going on with your love life right now?

[byxbee]

Is this Reality Story Hour or what?

Go Doc Go!!

I think pretty soon this thread will have more Views than PCs story hour!!!

She's gonna look through your CD and Movie Collections, if any, so be sure to clean those up and remove any CRPGs if you have dozens.

Put on some nice music, not classical or soft rock, a little jazz will make you look intellectual, interesting, and as if you possessed rhythm.

Brush your teeth. Four times.

Buy some wine, or open a bottle for her. (don't give the last bit of wine in that 6month old bottle). Make a flourish with the wine (pour it slowly from over your elbow and speak in french, if you can).

And a vaccuum wouldn't hurt, time permitting.

And DON'T LET HER IN THAT CLOSET!!! Your date will come to a screeching conclusion if she finds out you like nurses, roleplaying, and wart cream.

Try to make everything look like it is always clean and neat. Don't let her get the impression that you did 4 hours of cleaning for her. Make it look natural.

Don't rush things. My current girlfriend didn't kiss me for 5 dates. Start with some hand holding. Hand massages are one way to their heart.

And the next date should be somewhere cool, like the Zoo or aquarium.

 

[reapersaurus]

Doc - there are some major warning signs here.

1) You literally can't read her when it seemed she's trying to get something across.
If someone's trying, even, and not being successful, that indicates a communication problem.

2) She seems to clam up in most situations (especially when not in a group environ), rendering communication difficult at best.
Not good, since most of the time spent with her in a relationship would be alone with her.

3) She apparently likes you.

#3 being the most damning, and biggest warning sign, of course.

 

[MaltCaine]

Maybe all of us, working together, complimenting each others weaknesses and augmenting each others strengths - all of us, in a combined effort could just possibly perform the impossible and inch our gaming buddy over the line to girlfriendland.

Sounds like a well-balanced dnd party... but don't tell Allison that... ever.

Its currently 1:14am gmt ... which means you are probably in the thick of the encounter right now. Bobbing and weaving, weaving and bobbing. I just hope we all get an update before i have to go to work tomorrow.

rah rah... go team go!

malt.

 

[reapersaurus]

malt - that reminds me of the Seinfeld episode where George and someone else combine to be a competent boyfriend.
George on his own couldn't handle the functions of a bf - he needed the gestalt of people to be adequate in that department.

 

[LostSoul]

I'm going to go against the trend. If I were you, I wouldn't see her again - unless it was on my own terms. I would not accept going somewhere for the specific purpose of seeing somebody and not having them spend much time with me. I'm a handfull.

If you are still going ahead, you have to make a physical move. She'll think that you don't like her if you don't. (That might actually work for you, though... )

Here's some good advice, from Swingers:

Rule Four:

Women aren't dumb.

MIKE
That was so ****in' money. It was like that "Jedi mind" ****.

TRENT
That's what I'm telling you, baby. The babies love that stuff. They don't want all that sensitive ****. You start talking to them about puppy dogs and ice cream. They know what you want. What do you think? You think they don't know?

MIKE
I know. I know.

TRENT
They know what you want, believe me. Pretending is just a waste of time. You're gonna take them there eventually any-
way. Don't apologize for it.

Women are smart. Take this into consideration. They're good at reading the vibe and are in tune with what's really going down. They know what's happening. Don't manipulate, deny, and condescend. It's insulting.

Rule Five:

Be honest.

MIKE
I'm just trying to be a gentlemen, Trent, show some respect.

TRENT
Respect, my ass. What they respect is honesty. You see how they dress when they go out? They want to be noticed. You're just showing them that it's working. You gotta get off this respect
kick, baby. There ain't nothing wrong with letting them know that you want to party.

Women like attention. It's flattering as long as you're respectful and honest. Formalities are not nearly as important as repecting their intelligence.

Be honest with yourself and with them. If you want intimacy, then own up to it. Don't come at them like you're interested in their nail polish if what you really want is intimacy. It's insulting. You're
a man, she's a woman. Deal with it. The more you pretend that it's not about sexual attraction, the harder it will be to redefine the parameters. Honesty works like magic if you're free from guilt. The truth shall set you free.

Rule Eleven:
Be a bad man.

TRENT
(pullng him aside, dead serious)
Now when you talk with her, I don't want you to be the guy in the PG-13 movie that everybody really hopes makes it happen. I want you to be the guy in the rated-R movie who you're not sure if you like yet.

Don't hide the fact that you like sex. That doesn't mean act like the fourteen year old on the back of the bus who's constantly pulling on himself and making obscene noises. It just means own your sexuality and don't apologize for it.

 

[Seri]

Hi lo

I don't know if you're giving her enough credit.....or yourself for that matter. There's nothing wrong with being an rp-er. It's only my point of view, but I might get more upset about you hiding something so important about yourself, than finding out you like something I didn't.

But then again I'm just a crazy girl-gamer ;p

I wish you the best of luck and hope everything goes great

 

[WanderingMonster]

I know you've been waiting for MY advice* so here goes:

1) Get a pirate shirt.

"This shirt adds romance to any event."

Dude. Need I say more?

2) Get a haircut . It shows that you care about your appearance (and your appearance together).

3) Make a pointed effort to listen to her. Hear what she has to say.

4) And please, once she knows you and likes you, put your D&D books back on the shelf...then you can go back to your place and rollplay.

*Okay...so I married the woman I dated when I was 18. I have no practical "field" XP of any kind. If you had wanted real advice, you would have written to "Dear Abby" or called Miss Cleo. Ingrate.

 

[TalonComics]

Okay, one thing that bothers me is you hiding your stuff. That's just wrong!

You're a paid gaming illustrator and the creator of the D20 Sh*t shirt which makes you a professional in the industry. You have nothing to be ashamed of! Be proud of what you do! If she ends up wanting to get more serious and you've hidden a major part of what you are you're only going to cause problems for yourself later on.
Would you honestly want a serious relationship with someone who didn't respect your profession or your hobbies?

You know the answer. Don't hide who you are. Don't pretend to be someone you're not.

Being a gamer is nothing to be ashamed about!

~Derek

 

[Dr Midnight]

Hey, Doc, how'd it go? Ha ha ha...

****.

Okay. We go meet at Newport Creamery by her suggestion (It's kinda like a Rhode Island version of Friendly's). I'm planning to lay some serious conversation on her, for once. I'm going for eye contact, going for what's going to lead me to further contact. No sooner do we get in than her buddy Roy pulls up a chair at the table and starts talking with her. Roy works there. Nice guy. They talk, and they talk. I'm not introduced. I start looking at my hands, I doodle on the placemat, I stare out the window. He comments a few times on how he feels bad that I'm being left out of the conversation, to which she just laughs and continues talking.

After a while, it's really clear that Roy's not just stopping to chat. He's hanging out, but we can't hang out here forever, he's working, right? They sit there and talk. Eventually I introduce myself. Eventually he gets us some ice cream. Eventually we've finished the ice cream. He's still there. It comes up that after his shift is over, he's meeting a bunch of their mutual friends at Denny's for coffee, etc. She perks up and obviously is pretty keen on the idea. It's decided on, we're going to Denny's, without my input or anything. It's just... happening now. I'm beginning to get not only upset, but emotional. What the hell am I here for? What am I to her? I manage to avoid asking. In the few times Roy gets up to do something work-oriented, she's just casting her eyes about the place. Trying to spark conversation in these times doesn't work. One time I pick up her cell phone, which was lying on the table.

Me: "I'm stealing your phone."

(she ignores me or doesn't hear)

"I'm SO stealing your phone."

"Huh? You need to make a call?"

(with a smile) "No, I just thought I could briefly wrangle some of your attention away from whatever it is that's over my shoulder."

she laughs and doesn't quite pick up on what I'm saying. I feel like . I don't want to go to Denny's. I'll be ignored. I plan to just break off as easily as possible and go home, where I can be alone with the benefit of not having to sit in a diner booth. Roy's getting off his shift, so they're getting ready to go. I say to her "Uh, I think I'm going to skip on the Denny's thing..."

"What? You're not coming?"

"No, I'd really rather not. I've got some freelance art I should be doing..."

"Oh, come on. Denny's! It'll be fun."

"I really don't think I want to go."

She really pushes hard for me to come, but at no point does she ask what's wrong or seem to understand that something IS wrong. I say "I just really wanted to have a specific conversation with you tonight, and it can't happen at Denny's. You guys go, have fun." She nods, asks me to go once more, then drops it. I say goodnight and leave.

Aaaaand here I am. What's the worst was coming back into my just-cleaned, candle-scented apartment and kicking my shoes off after all that. I don't know why I'm so affected here, but I really do feel ready to cry. I just feel like ****.

 

[WanderingMonster]

I hate Roy.

I hope you didn't tip him.

Roy sucks.