[OT] KDLadage's First Annual Christmas Limerick Contest! <- WINNERS ANNOUNCED

[KDLadage]

Come one, come all! Welcome to KDLadage's First Annual Christmas Limerick Contest! I was inspired by the great fun that I had in the recent Haiku contest, and felt that another contest needed to happen! So... here I go -- the First Annual Christmas Limerick Contest is about to get launched!

Here are the rules:

1. Deadline: All limericks must be posted by 11:59pm, 24-Dec-2002 (in other words, before Christmas).
2. Clean: All Limericks must abide by the rules of the EN World boards -- in other words, nothing that would upset Eric's Grandmother.
3. Topical: All Limericks must have something to do with Dungeons and Dragons. If I wanted Limericks about something else, I would have posted the contest on another message board.
4. Void: There is no Rule #4.
5. Entry Limit: One entry per person (not just per 'login' -- per 'person'). However, you are free to edit your entry as often as you like up to the deadline.
6. God-Rule: I will be the sole judge and arbiter of the contest; no arguments here. I will be as fair and impartial as I can be on this one. Also, if I think of anything else, I will post it here and it will take effect as though the rule had always been here.

Now, as far as prizes go: I have a very nice (extra) copy of the print version of The Book of Eldrich Might from Monte Cook. This will be awarded to the winner. I may add some more prizes as I go through my collection (both for the top spot and others -- not sure, we'll see how this goes), but for now that would be it. The winner will pay for shipping.

That would be it. Go for it -- and have fun!

 

[caudor]

Do you mean limerick as in a five line stanza in spondaic hexameter, alternating with amphibrachs and amphimacers??

I'm slow when it comes to poetry...will have to wait to see a few examples before venturing forth.

 

[Sixchan]

There once was a Cleric from Thay
A munchkin in every way
Her level 2 silence
Stopped magical violence
But none heard a word that she'd say.

 

[KDLadage]

Do you mean limerick as in a five line stanza in spondaic hexameter, alternating with amphibrachs and amphimacers??

I'm slow when it comes to poetry...will have to wait to see a few examples before venturing forth.

I believe Sixchan has shown you the way, sir!

 

[caudor]

OK, I get it. I'm a little less cultured than some; when younger I used these rhymes to create fart jokes. Here's my first and only attempt:

There once was an Ogre named Fred
A bird landed on top of his head
He picked up a sack
And gave it a wack
Now the birdie and Fred are both dead

 

[Zenon]

Hey, I'll give it a try:

When playing in Dungeons & Dragons
We drink ale from jugs and from flagons
We kick in the door,
Piles of treasure we score,
So much that to haul it needs wagons!

 

[Mathew_Freeman]

There once was a ranger named Bob
And he would take any old job
Two swords had he
One attached to each knee
The elves thought that he was a slob

Not brilliant, but then I never could write poetry.

 

[Pielorinho]

That obnoxious dark elf tweaker, Drizz't,
Wields a sword in each skinny drow fizz't,
and when 3E came out
was the model, no doubt,
for all rangers. Oh, man, were we pizz't!

Daniel

 

[Capellan]

There once was a cat; name of Scratches
Who fell foul of adventurers' matches
He'd gone missing you see
So we hired the CotRE
But they burned him as spider dispatches

 

[Maerdwyn]

The mandibles that the 'hulk used
Left me sliced-up, and feeling abused.
A clerical spell
Would have healed me up well -
But our holy man had been confused.