Pineapple Express: Someone Is Wrong on the Internet?

[Umbran]

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Really? Another one? Its gotta be the weather.

The dumpster fires on the site seem to bear some correlation to dumpster fires in the larger areas of the world. So, between new rules coming out and... other tensions our rules prohibit discussion of, yeah, it's gonna be a bit rough through the end of the year, I expect.

 

[trappedslider]

 

[CleverNickName]

Here's the recipe for a Pina Colada, from the bar I used to work at.

Piña Colada Mix
One, 12oz. can Old Orchard frozen pineapple juice concentrate, thawed
One, 15 oz. can Goya cream of coconut
12 oz. water (use the Old Orchard can as a measuring cup)

Combine in a quick-pour bottle.
Keep refrigerated, shake before using, discard after 3 days.
Makes enough for about 10 cocktails.

Piña Colada
2.5 oz. Jamaican rum
4 oz. Piña Colada Mix (above)
6 oz. crushed ice
1 oz. heavy cream

Blend until smooth. Pour into a chilled Poco Grande glass.
Garnish with a cherry and an umbrella.

 

[Dannyalcatraz]

Pineapple Sherbet

Okay so here's what you do.

Go to the store, and buy the ripest pineapple they have. Get some brown sugar and some heavy cream while you're there. On your way home, swing by the liquor store and get a small bottle of spiced rum (or a large bottle, I'm not your dad.)

When you get home, peel and core the pineapple, then cut it into chunks. You can put those peels and core into a glass gallon jar to make tepache, but that's a different recipe.

Put the pineapple chunks in your food processor, and puree them until very smooth. Seriously, blend them way longer than you think you need to, and then blend them some more. Pineapple won't give up without a fight. Then pour it into a bowl. Stir in 1d3 tablespoons of brown sugar and a generous pour of rum. (About an ounce? Maybe less? You don't measure rum with measuring spoons, you measure it with your heart.)

Finally, stir in 1/3 cup heavy cream and immediately pour it into your ice cream freezer. This is the only part of the recipe where timing is critical: milk + acid = curdles, so you want to get it into the freezer right away. Freeze until soft set, then transfer to an airtight container and freeze completely.

Serves six (or one, if it's 100°F outside and you have the day off.)

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Don’t recall if I posted this in here, but…

We had a power outage a few weeks ago, and the Outshine pineapple popsicles at the topmost part of the freezer melted just enough to deform before power was restored. But instead of tossing them, I used them instead of ice cubes in some Canada Dry Zero.

Very tasty!

 

[Dannyalcatraz]

One thing you can't get online is the feeling as they say something dumb, and you just stare at them until they wilt.

That’s why we have gifs:

 

[Ryujin]

Is that Jenny Lewis?

Trin Miller. She was in "Captain Fantastic" with Viggo Mortensen.

139 Trin Miller Photos & High Res Pictures - Getty Images

Explore Authentic Trin Miller Stock Photos & Images For Your Project Or Campaign. Less Searching, More Finding With Getty Images.

www.gettyimages.fi

 

[Meech17]

That's right, I'm posting cold pineapple recipes because some of y'all need to chill out.

Pineapple Lush

1-1/2 cups of graham crackers, crushed​

1/3 cup granulated sugar​

1/2 cup melted butter​

1 cup heavy cream, very cold​

2 sheets of gelatin​

1 cup powdered sugar, divided use​

8 oz. cream cheese, softened​

1 cup crushed pineapple, well-drained​

Pineapple chunks, graham crackers, and/or coconut flakes, for garnish​

First, make the crust:*

Finely crush the graham crackers​

Combine with the granulated sugar and melted butter.​

Press into the bottom of a 8 x 8 baking dish​

Refrigerate until needed.​

Then, make stabilized whipped cream:*

Soak the gelatin in cold water until soft​

Dissolve in 2 tablespoons of boiling water, and set aside.​

In the bowl of a stand mixer, beat the whipped cream with half the powdered sugar until soft peaks form.​

Stream in the gelatin mixture, and beat to stiff peaks.​

Set aside.​

Then bring it all together:

Beat the cream cheese and remaining powdered sugar until smooth.​

Fold in the crushed pineapple.​

Fold in the whipped cream.​

Spread evenly over the graham cracker crust​

Garnish, or don't.​

Refrigerate overnight.​

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*Feeling lazy? Don't have a stand mixer? Don't worry, I got you. Replace the stabilized whipped cream with an entire tub of Kool-Whip, and use a ready-made graham cracker pie crust. Enjoy your dessert.​

I like this one. I love pineapple, but loathe coconut, so it's always nice to see a dish that trusts the pineapple to stand alone.

 

[payn]

Trin Miller. She was in "Captain Fantastic" with Viggo Mortensen.

139 Trin Miller Photos & High Res Pictures - Getty Images

Explore Authentic Trin Miller Stock Photos & Images For Your Project Or Campaign. Less Searching, More Finding With Getty Images.

www.gettyimages.fi

 

[Maxperson]

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Really? Another one? Its gotta be the weather.

With all the flooding and wildfires it was bound to happen.

 

[Ryujin]

Funny story (from Trin). When she read for the part the character was just supposed to appear in various pictures. They seemed to like her so much that they made scenes for her.