The Hunt for the Blue Palace (Yoon Suin/Troika!)

[Ancalagon]

The seven creatures froze, and in unison turned around and bared their fangs and hissed....

Until one of them spoke

"... wait. What is my name?"
"You're Yob!"
"No, I'm not Yob, he's Yob"
"Did you just assume my gender?"
"Shut up Yob! Anyway, who am I?"
"I dub thee Sir Poopalot"
"Screw you Apu!"
"I'm not Apu!"
".... where is Apu?"
"Let's ask Pinbehlu over there!"
"You can't do that, he's not a finder, he's a porter!"
"Maybe he's carrying Apu?"
"Did you just assume the porter's gender?"
"Shut up!!"
"Let's just ask them!"
"Errrrr.... have you seen Apu?"
"Yes, a noble quest!!!"

 

[JustinCase]

Pinpehlu's smile wavers as the porter listens to the odd ramblings uncertainly. Then, as the creatures appear to come to some sort of conclusion, he renews his smile.

"Well met! I have not seen Apu, but I am looking for a Blue Palace. Supposedly it is an interesting place, full of never-seen-before frescoes and devious traps that none have braved before. Perhaps we can look for Apu there together?"

Then the porter sighs.

"Oh no, we cannot. I don't know where it is..."

It may not be the best acting anyone has ever seen, but hopefully it'll do the trick, Pinpehlu thinks to himself, quite pleased.

 

[Ancalagon]

"oooooooooooooh"

The figments started jumping up and down chattering

"It speaks!"
"It's a porter AND a speaker!"
"It eats too, look at that figure!"
"Shut up Yob! Pardon my colleague's tongue, we don't know where it came from"
"Yes we do, I stole it from that monkey!"

The others looked at Yob in admiration. Another broke the silence and pipped in:

"The blue palace!"
"What about it, Sir Poopalot?"
"I know all about it?"
"You do?"
"Yes! It's a Palace, and it's Blue. Hence the name!"
"Shut up Yob!"
"You can't say that, you're Yob! You shut up!"
"Well do you know where it is?"
"How should I know, it's not part of the name! But Apu is there, apparently"
"Oh yes, Apu..."

The group looked at the party and gasped.

"A quest!"
"A might test of skills!"
"But how?"
"I know!!"
"A tree!"
"Shut up Yob!"
"Hear me out! We don't know where the blue palace is because we can't see it"
"Obviously"
"So they climb a tree"
"Why would you ask ... oooooooh!"
"Now you see!"
"Well they will see!"
"Yes yes!!!"

One of the Figment stepped forward - Yob, although you really weren't sure - and addressed the party

"To find the Blue Palace, you must climb the mightyest tree in all the land! It's ... uh... there!"
"Yes yes, climb that tree!"
"All of them! Up the tree!"
"Yes, the more eyes the better!"
"Yes! Yes! Let's all climb the tree!"
"Up the tree now, up the tree!"

What does the party do? The tree they picked is indeed the largest in the vicinity (it's big, but it's clearly not the biggest tree ever) and had an abundance of branches. Climbing it shouldn't be too challenging.

 

[FitzTheRuke]

"I don't know about all of us," sighed Dubi Gan, "But I think that one or two of us could humour them and try the climb."

 

[Ancalagon]

Whom is attempting the climb? (no skill check necessary, I just want to know who's going up)

 

[FitzTheRuke]

OOC: I'd like to see if anyone else wants to go. Dubi Gan will go if no one else will, but he doesn't strike me as much of an eager volunteer.

 

[wingilbear]

I will go because I find the idea of a slug doing it hilarious

 

[Ancalagon]

I will go because I find the idea of a slug doing it hilarious

The gods are amused and you regain one point of luck

Anyone else? (no luck guaranteed though)

 

[JustinCase]

"I will climb it," says Pinpehlu as he drops the yoke from his shoulders. The rotund porter walks up to the tree, then looks up with his hands in his sides. Clearly he seems less than confident in his abilities to climb trees, but then he sees Frog Froth start the climb.

Pinpehlu sighs, then starts up himself, sweating and muttering complaints all the way.

 

[wingilbear]

I do a mixture of army crawling and full bodily heaving to get up the tree, panting profusely the while.

 

[Ancalagon]

The figments climb with you, nattering all the way.

"oooh, look at the slugman bend!"
"it's because they have no bone."
"Then how do they... you know..."
"They don't"
"Fascinating"
"This tree has bark on it!"
"They all have bark?"
"They do? I learned something today"
"The porter is climbing!"
"He ports! He speaks! He climbs!"
"Totally OP"
"I can't see the blue palace, but I think I see 2 purple hills!"
"That's not hills, that's Apu's ass!"
"Stop looking at my ass!"
"Shut up Apu, you aren't here remember?"
"Oh yeah..."

Looking around there are no evidence of the Blue Palace

"And now it is time for the ritual!"
"Yes the ritual!"
"The ritual sacrifice?"
"No silly, that requires a beautiful maiden"
"If you squint really hard the porter could do?"
"Shut up yob!"
"Quiet everyone. Focus."
"Hocus Focus Abradacrabrus..."

Suddenly, the branches are covered in a smooth, impossibly slick grease. Your grip fails. The figments slip off and start flying, laughing.

What do you do? (A luck or a skill check would do here, but if you come up with something good...)

 

[wingilbear]

I am going to stab the tree with a sword in each hand and using that keep climbing up

 

[JustinCase]

Pinpehlu finds his hands no longer gripping the branches, and in panic he reaches out to hold onto a figment... but he fails to get hold of one.

OOC: Yep, gonna try. Pinpehlu luck check: 2D6 = [6, 6] = 12 Which is a fail Luck is now 9/11

 

[Ancalagon]

I am going to stab the tree with a sword in each hand and using that keep climbing up

Very well, do a sword skill check or a luck check (your choice)

 

[wingilbear]

Sword going for less than 7

_: 2D6 = [3, 3] = 6


Woo!

 

[Ancalagon]

In an impressive display of coordination, the templar managed to wrap the trunk with their flexible bendy slugman legs and use their swords to slow themselves down.

The porter... well. Pinpehlu latches on to a figment... who is way too small to hold both of them aloft. He held on with all his strenght (which was considerable), but all Pinpehlu achieved was landing on top of it. A jet of purple goo flew out.

You both (by both I mean Pinpehlu and the figment) take:
Falling damage: 2D6 = [2, 2] = 4
Stamina damage

(OOC: that could have been way worse...)

The other figments gasp. The fallen one slowly drags its way out of the stunned porter's body.

"Yob is alive!"
"Of course I'm alive, I'm right here"
"Shut up Yob!!! erm... I mean, who's down there?"
"I think it's Sir Poopalot!"
"oh dear. Are you ok Sir Poopalot?"

The nearly flattened figment rolls over to face the sky and says in a croaking voice:
"I think I pooped myself"
"... I didn't know we had anuses"
"... well... I do now..."
"Oh dear. Yob, go fly down and give him a hand"
"I'm not doing that, he's covered in poop! And he smells like a porter"
"That porter was not a flyer"
"Fly porter they said. It will be fun they said"
"Shut up you two and go grab Sir Poopalot!"

The figments touch down, help their flattened brethren up, and start flying away. What do you do?

 

[wingilbear]

I try and look for the blue palace from my new vantage point

 

[FitzTheRuke]

"Terribly silly creatures." said Dubi Gan while shaking his head, "Are you all right, Pin? Shall I check you over?"

 

[JustinCase]

"Ouch," says Pinpehlu weakly, getting up from the ground, covered in goo on one side. Rubbing his hand over the painful places on his body, the porter inadvertently spreads the goo around more than anything.

"I could use a bath," he says with a weak smile, "But I think I'll be alright. Do you think there's a pool or something nearby?"

OOC: Stamina 12/18

 

[Ancalagon]

It was clear that the general area seemed clear of danger, given the ruckus... and sadly, free of Blue Palace as well.

I believe the plan was to go north from there? The Figments are getting distant, but still in earshot if you want to say something else to them.