Things that are better with bacon

[reveal]

You've got it! I don't really know The_Universe, but if he's anything like me and 95% of all guys I've ever met, a little "hey, you wanna get really lucky tonight? All you need is to pick me up a take-out order of these bacon wrapped scallions from Red Lobster..." then before you even finish that sentence you'll hear his tires peeling out on the driveway as he races for the closest Red Lobster establishment he can find.

Or, if you Queenie wants to shorten it, just be naked holding up a Red Lobster logo she printed off from the web.

Queen: You want this. *points to self* You go get this. *points to logo*

 

[Rel]

Smart man, he is. Us non-sea creature eaters will someday rule the world, and the eating of fish will be outlawed. You can still go fishing, just not eat any of them.

You should avoid going to the beach with me, CL. When we were down at the coast last month I was pulling all manner of sea critters out of the sound and chowing down. Clams, shrimp, fish (well they were too small but I baited the crab pot with them), basically if you slowed down to under 5 knots, I'd pull your ass out of the ocean, lightly kill you and eat you dipped in lemon butter.

 

[Cthulhu's Librarian]

I say in all honesty that I would seriously consider leaving my wife for this woman.

So, that would then make you my step-father-in-law...

Uh, no, I don't think my wife or father-in-law would like that very much. Plus, if you take that position, you will be responsible for painting and repairing things around my house. And we break stuff quite regularly.

 

[Queen_Dopplepopolis]

You've got it! I don't really know The_Universe, but if he's anything like me and 95% of all guys I've ever met, a little "hey, you wanna get really lucky tonight? All you need is to pick me up a take-out order of these bacon wrapped scallions from Red Lobster..." then before you even finish that sentence you'll hear his tires peeling out on the driveway as he races for the closest Red Lobster establishment he can find.

*puts on her devious wife hat*

"Ohh, honey! I was thinking..."

 

[Cthulhu's Librarian]

You should avoid going to the beach with me, CL. When we were down at the coast last month I was pulling all manner of sea critters out of the sound and chowing down. Clams, shrimp, fish (well they were too small but I baited the crab pot with them), basically if you slowed down to under 5 knots, I'd pull your ass out of the ocean, lightly kill you and eat you dipped in lemon butter.

How exactly do you "lightly kill" something?

I love the beach, I just have a problem with eating things that taste like it. I'm a veggie and meat person, myself.

 

[Rel]

Queen: You want this. *points to self* You go get this. *points to logo*

I'd like to think that The Universe is a bigger man than this...

 

[reveal]

I'd like to think that The Universe is a bigger man than this...

Rel, I will let this go. But just this one time. You know never to set me up like that on an Eric's grandma-friendly board!

 

[reveal]

How exactly do you "lightly kill" something?

With a "love tap."

 

[Rel]

How exactly do you "lightly kill" something?

That's when I refrigerate you for a while before I dump you alive into boiling water. For critters with a central nervous system, it'll make em' sort of sluggish. You know the old saying, "Don't bite the hand that eats you!"

 

[Rel]

Rel, I will let this go. But just this one time. You know never to set me up like that on an Eric's grandma-friendly board!

So much for my sinister plot to get you banned.