D&D 5E Why are wizard's so weak? (A parody)

Asisreo

Patron Badass
Has anyone noticed how weak wizards are in D&D? It's ridiculous that Wizards of the Coast refuse to make their spellcasters good.

For one, their HitDice are so small, it's possible to die from two hits from a goblin at level 1! Or even one hit if they crit!

They don't incentivize constitution as much as intelligence and dexterity yet it's important for concentration and just living, so basically you need 3 ability scores in order to even be a decent spellcaster without getting turned into a pin cushion.

Their only defensive options are gatekept behind either a spell or a couple subclasses.

Speaking about class features, both the class and subclass features are so bad. Arcane recovery would be decent if the party ever took a short rest, otherwise it's non-existent. And you don't get another real class feature until level 18! What's up with that!?

The subclass features all kinda just fall flat from useful. First off, they all get this dumb copy spell discount as if copying a spell in combat is viable.

The evocation wizard, for instance, gets sculpt spell which sounds pretty nice but at this level you're only shooting out burning hands and thunderwaves. Not to mention that you can't even use them on magic missile! Unless you're constantly expending resources on evocation spells like a madman, which you only get 3 slots for the entire long rest, this feature is pretty bad for a long time. Fireball eventually comes up but only when campaigns are just about to end anyways.

Your spellslot acquisition sucks too. You're expected to be a professional at shooting spells yet after two or three rounds of looking cool, you're stuck playing second fiddle to the fighters, barbarians, and rogues. They get all their cool stuff at will. You can contribute meaningfully for 3-4 rounds before throwing subpar cantrips.

Did I mention that if you're a wizard and you're ever caught in melee, you're screwed? Because you are. You'd think you could just misty step away but as soon as you do, they'll just dash the 60ft to be back in melee and curbstomp you anyways. And since a wizard doesn't really have high AC even with their spells, they're getting creamed. Shield and mage armor is already 2 spell slots out of a probable 3-4 and the shield only lasts for a round. Plus, if they have multiattack or there's more than one, it's basically curtains for you.

It also doesn't fulfill the flavor of being born as a master of magic like in Harry Potter. Sure, he studies sometimes, but you can't just be a wizard because you study, you have to be born with it.

A wizard is supposed to get the most benefit from magic items, but the only ones worth getting don't improve your most important attack method (save DC) like a fighter and don't increase the damage like a fighter. In fact, even the +1 wands don't increase the damage of your spell attack damage. So they're basically useless unless you're stuck using the cantrips that aren't as good as a martial, at all.

A warlock has better damaging cantrips. How is that even fair? They get to add their ability mod to the damage and they have better distance and can push people? And they get to be a spellcaster with only a short rest resource. And the designers thought that was "balanced."

The wizard is even weak to other wizards! they can't counter a spell until level 5 and their counterspell can just be counterspelled and they eat a fireball anyways.

I can't tell you how many times the party had to watch me die as a group of goblins or orcs just swarmed at me and killed me before I even got to react. The DM just piles monsters on me and after 2-3 rounds, I'm either unconscious or completely dead. I can't escape, either. They surprise me or just plain shoot me until I die.

If anyone else feels like Wizards are weak and/or have any houserules to fix these problems to make the wizard playable, please list them below. I feel like wizards need to finally be playable like they were in 4e
 

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Asisreo

Patron Badass
Are you going for satire? And who are you pretending to be?
Satire? No. I'm deathly serious. How can I play D&D with these glaring flaws in my game? When I join a TTRPG, I join to win. But I can't do that when certain classes gets gimped. I've played wizard once for 2 sessions, died, and decided it wasn't for me. That's how I know the class sucks.

There's so many examples of poor game design in the wizard's case. What if the party doesn't have time to long rest in 2 days? Now, your spells are once per 3 days, which is terrible.

Wizards should've definitely had a martial subclass. Something like school of fist where you outperform martials in melee and spellcasters from a distance. That way, you are actually very balanced.

Even the subclasses aren't balanced between themselves. Why choose divination, where you leave your class features to chance, when you can go evocation and guarantee to do alot of damage.

I mean, c'mon, WoTC keeps gimping some of the most popular classes. The worst of which are Wizards, Clerics, and Paladins.

Clerics really grind my gears. How am I supposed to be a healbot if I have damaging spells? I only have one action, people. And the healing is abysmal. 1d8+4? What am I a commoner? Who's that supposed to heal?

And then they had the audacity to make Wish, the most powerful spell in the game, only 1 casting a day. Luckily, me and my DM came up with a homebrew that let me cast Wish 5 times a day with no repercussions and I've been having alot of fun recently. And as long as I'm happy, the DM's happy.

My final bone to pick is school of enchantment. What if your DM throws you a monster that has a high Wisdom or immune to charm? Most of your subclass features are invalidated. I'd say giving them a class feature that does 1d8 psychic damage with an enchantment spell and a 14th level feature that bypasses immunity would be very fair. They should also be able to cast weird at-will and cast power word kill but without the HP restriction.

I can tell that this houserule is fair and balanced because it makes me strong.
 

Satire? No. I'm deathly serious. How can I play D&D with these glaring flaws in my game? When I join a TTRPG, I join to win. But I can't do that when certain classes gets gimped. I've played wizard once for 2 sessions, died, and decided it wasn't for me. That's how I know the class sucks.

There's so many examples of poor game design in the wizard's case. What if the party doesn't have time to long rest in 2 days? Now, your spells are once per 3 days, which is terrible.

Wizards should've definitely had a martial subclass. Something like school of fist where you outperform martials in melee and spellcasters from a distance. That way, you are actually very balanced.

Even the subclasses aren't balanced between themselves. Why choose divination, where you leave your class features to chance, when you can go evocation and guarantee to do alot of damage.

I mean, c'mon, WoTC keeps gimping some of the most popular classes. The worst of which are Wizards, Clerics, and Paladins.

Clerics really grind my gears. How am I supposed to be a healbot if I have damaging spells? I only have one action, people. And the healing is abysmal. 1d8+4? What am I a commoner? Who's that supposed to heal?

And then they had the audacity to make Wish, the most powerful spell in the game, only 1 casting a day. Luckily, me and my DM came up with a homebrew that let me cast Wish 5 times a day with no repercussions and I've been having alot of fun recently. And as long as I'm happy, the DM's happy.

My final bone to pick is school of enchantment. What if your DM throws you a monster that has a high Wisdom or immune to charm? Most of your subclass features are invalidated. I'd say giving them a class feature that does 1d8 psychic damage with an enchantment spell and a 14th level feature that bypasses immunity would be very fair. They should also be able to cast weird at-will and cast power word kill but without the HP restriction.

I can tell that this houserule is fair and balanced because it makes me strong.
Every spell the fist wizard casts should be fist.
 

Olrox17

Hero
Has anyone noticed how weak wizards are in D&D? It's ridiculous that Wizards of the Coast refuse to make their spellcasters good.

For one, their HitDice are so small, it's possible to die from two hits from a goblin at level 1! Or even one hit if they crit!

They don't incentivize constitution as much as intelligence and dexterity yet it's important for concentration and just living, so basically you need 3 ability scores in order to even be a decent spellcaster without getting turned into a pin cushion.

Their only defensive options are gatekept behind either a spell or a couple subclasses.

Speaking about class features, both the class and subclass features are so bad. Arcane recovery would be decent if the party ever took a short rest, otherwise it's non-existent. And you don't get another real class feature until level 18! What's up with that!?

The subclass features all kinda just fall flat from useful. First off, they all get this dumb copy spell discount as if copying a spell in combat is viable.

The evocation wizard, for instance, gets sculpt spell which sounds pretty nice but at this level you're only shooting out burning hands and thunderwaves. Not to mention that you can't even use them on magic missile! Unless you're constantly expending resources on evocation spells like a madman, which you only get 3 slots for the entire long rest, this feature is pretty bad for a long time. Fireball eventually comes up but only when campaigns are just about to end anyways.

Your spellslot acquisition sucks too. You're expected to be a professional at shooting spells yet after two or three rounds of looking cool, you're stuck playing second fiddle to the fighters, barbarians, and rogues. They get all their cool stuff at will. You can contribute meaningfully for 3-4 rounds before throwing subpar cantrips.

Did I mention that if you're a wizard and you're ever caught in melee, you're screwed? Because you are. You'd think you could just misty step away but as soon as you do, they'll just dash the 60ft to be back in melee and curbstomp you anyways. And since a wizard doesn't really have high AC even with their spells, they're getting creamed. Shield and mage armor is already 2 spell slots out of a probable 3-4 and the shield only lasts for a round. Plus, if they have multiattack or there's more than one, it's basically curtains for you.

It also doesn't fulfill the flavor of being born as a master of magic like in Harry Potter. Sure, he studies sometimes, but you can't just be a wizard because you study, you have to be born with it.

A wizard is supposed to get the most benefit from magic items, but the only ones worth getting don't improve your most important attack method (save DC) like a fighter and don't increase the damage like a fighter. In fact, even the +1 wands don't increase the damage of your spell attack damage. So they're basically useless unless you're stuck using the cantrips that aren't as good as a martial, at all.

A warlock has better damaging cantrips. How is that even fair? They get to add their ability mod to the damage and they have better distance and can push people? And they get to be a spellcaster with only a short rest resource. And the designers thought that was "balanced."

The wizard is even weak to other wizards! they can't counter a spell until level 5 and their counterspell can just be counterspelled and they eat a fireball anyways.

I can't tell you how many times the party had to watch me die as a group of goblins or orcs just swarmed at me and killed me before I even got to react. The DM just piles monsters on me and after 2-3 rounds, I'm either unconscious or completely dead. I can't escape, either. They surprise me or just plain shoot me until I die.

If anyone else feels like Wizards are weak and/or have any houserules to fix these problems to make the wizard playable, please list them below. I feel like wizards need to finally be playable like they were in 4e
Hahaha, what a noob. Everyone knows that a mlg pro wizard starts as a lvl 1 fighter for that sweet heavy armor and shield, which you then use in conjunction with the shield spell to become a mothertrucking tank!
Git gud, bro. LtP.
1589616931565.gif
 

Asisreo

Patron Badass
Hahaha, what a noob. Everyone knows that a mlg pro wizard starts as a lvl 1 fighter for that sweet heavy armor and shield, which you then use in conjunction with the shield spell to become a mothertrucking tank!
Git gud, bro. LtP.
View attachment 122050
It's a sad day when a player has to multiclass just for their wizard to have heavy armor proficiency. Why isn't it free smh?

It's bad because I dip into fighter at level 1 but I always forget to undip.
 


When they got the right spell against the right enemy in optimal position Wizard or any full casters are great.
But because of damage resistance, immunity, spell resistance, legendary resistance perfect situation are very rare.
To be efficient Wizard need prepared spells to be versatile and diversified. Which is opposed to the main archetype : school specialization.
a solution would be to give Wizard more prepared spell.
 

G

Guest 6801328

Guest
The Wizard's job is to make a boss burn all of its Legendary Resistance, and then use his low Portent die to make the boss fail against the Monk's Quivering Palm.

What, you didn't spec Divination? Find another group, noob.
 


Eltab

Lord of the Hidden Layer
I happen to know a Wizard who got his first kill with a Longsword. (The first time he remembered that he was carrying one.) That was the day he became proud to have been born an Elf.
 


Jotunthe10th

First Post
I completely agree with OP. Wizards in 5.0e suck bad. I also agree that it is unfair to say that wizards don't suck because you have to multi-class to not suck. Instead, that illustrates that they suck so bad to have any chance, you must multi-class and get behind in spell progression. To survive before level 10 or so, you basically have to use all your spell slots for defense and even then you are extremely like to go down. You have a couple good combat rounds a day where you can have a spell that is a little more important than another class beating someone down. For all other combat rounds the entire day, they suck. And legendary resistance makes them bad boss killers (martial classes win there too). There is only 1 time in 5th edition that I toughed out playing a wizard to level 20 and he never became the most powerful combatant. You basically get a few utility spells and a couple rounds of combat a day that are above average (when not extremely low level). Besides that you suck completely.
 

CleverNickName

Limit Break Dancing
FINALLY, SOMEONE SAID IT.

I know you're not looking for house rules, and that you have asked for Wizards of the Coast to directly fix this problematic character class. But since that is unlikely to happen soon, I thought I would offer my house-rule for the wizard class that really, truly addresses the problems you listed.
  • First, you're right about the Hit Dice. Scrap it and boost it up to d10...it won't be as good as the barbarian, but it'll still be pretty good.
  • Intelligence is a useless stat, so swap out the wizard's Intelligence save throw for Strength. And while Wisdom is nice, Constitution is nicer...so get rid of that Wisdom save proficiency and get Constitution instead. Now you don't have to ever worry about poison and disease ever again.
  • To address the lack of defensive options that you describe (and I agree completely), give the wizard proficiency with light, medium, and heavy armor. And the shield spell is nice, but an actual shield won't use a spell slot...so I give my wizards proficiency with shields too.
  • Arcane Recovery is just a silly ability no matter how you look at it. I find that I get more mileage out of the Second Wind ability instead...hit points are really the wizard's major shortcoming, and this really helps reset the balance. So I swap out Second Wind for the lame Arcane Recovery.
  • The subclass features are incredibly sad. Who wants to be a scholar? This is a game about hitting things until they die, unless those things are my wizard. Now this is probably the most controversial change of the whole class, and a lot of people are going to balk at it...but I eliminate the whole Arcane Tradition thing, and replace it with the Fighter's subclass options. Before you protest, think about it: Eldritch Knight is clearly a wizard, Battle Master is clearly a wizard with a different 'power source', and who could be more of a Champion than Gandalf? This might be a bit OP for a wizard, though, so I only let it become available at 3rd level (instead of 2nd).
  • If you feel your wizard lacks versatility and power after removing the Arcane Tradition, you can add in extra Ability Score Improvements to compensate. My players usually end up selecting feats instead of ability score bonuses, and the right combination of feats can really add a layer of versatility and flexibility. I let my wizards choose ASIs at 4th, 6th, 8th, 12th, 14th, 16th, and 19th levels.
  • There's really no fixing the spell slot acquisition problem. The most effective way I've found is to just eliminate the spell slots altogether, cantrips and all, and replace them with weapon proficiencies (all of them). Then I add the Action Surge ability at 3rd level, along with the Extra Attack ability at 5th and 11th level, to help those weapon attacks scale with level (the way the so-called-wizard's cantrips are supposed to.) It really gets back to the heart of the wizard class, which is stabbing things until they die.
  • An unfortunate consequence of reworking the spell slots is that you will end up with a lack of defensive magic (notably Counterspell and Dispel Magic). A good way to compensate for that is to add the Indomitable ability at 9th level, 13th level, and 17th level. It will let you reroll a save throw, which is basically cheating but the rules let you get away with it.
  • The skill list for wizards, as-written, is too niche and obscure to really be useful on the battlefield. And the battlefield is really where any action is! So drop all of the Intelligence-based skills (Arcana, History, Investigation, Medicine, and Religion) and replace them with skills that will actually be used once in a while: Acrobatics, Animal Handling, Athletics, Intimidation, Perception, and Survival.)
And there you have it! My house-rule for fixing the wizard class. I admit, it takes a bit of elbow grease, but at least it will make the wizard worth playing again. Hopefully Wizards of the Coast will read this post and take action.
 
Last edited:

Laurefindel

Legend
FINALLY, SOMEONE SAID IT.

I know you're not looking for house rules, and that you have asked for Wizards of the Coast to directly fix this problematic character class. But since that is unlikely to happen soon, I thought I would offer my house-rule for the wizard class that really, truly addresses the problems you listed.
  • First, you're right about the Hit Dice. Scrap it and boost it up to d10...it won't be as good as the barbarian, but it'll still be pretty good.
  • Intelligence is a useless stat, so swap out the wizard's Intelligence save throw for Strength. And while Wisdom is nice, Constitution is nicer...so get rid of that Wisdom save proficiency and get Constitution instead. Now you don't have to ever worry about poison and disease ever again.
  • To address the lack of defensive options that you describe (and I agree completely), give the wizard proficiency with light, medium, and heavy armor. And the shield spell is nice, but an actual shield won't use a spell slot...so I give my wizards proficiency with shields too.
  • Arcane Recovery is just a silly ability no matter how you look at it. I find that I get more mileage out of the Second Wind ability instead...hit points are really the wizard's major shortcoming, and this really helps reset the balance. So I swap out Second Wind for the lame Arcane Recovery.
  • The subclass features are incredibly sad. Who wants to be a scholar? This is a game about hitting things until they die, unless those things are my wizard. Now this is probably the most controversial change of the whole class, and a lot of people are going to balk at it...but I eliminate the whole Arcane Tradition thing, and replace it with the Fighter's subclass options. Before you protest, think about it: Eldritch Knight is clearly a wizard, Battle Master is clearly a wizard with a different 'power source', and who could be more of a Champion than Gandalf? This might be a bit OP for a wizard, though, so I only let it become available at 3rd level (instead of 2nd).
  • If you feel your wizard lacks versatility and power after removing the Arcane Tradition, you can add in extra Ability Score Improvements to compensate. My players usually end up selecting feats instead of ability score bonuses, and the right combination of feats can really add a layer of versatility and flexibility. I let my wizards choose ASIs at 4th, 6th, 8th, 12th, 14th, 16th, and 19th levels.
  • There's really no fixing the spell slot acquisition problem. The most effective way I've found is to just eliminate the spell slots altogether, cantrips and all, and replace them with weapon proficiencies (all of them). Then I add the Action Surge ability at 3rd level, along with the Extra Attack ability at 5th and 11th level, to help those weapon attacks scale with level (the way the so-called-wizard's cantrips are supposed to.) It really gets back to the heart of the wizard class, which is stabbing things until they die.
  • An unfortunate consequence of reworking the spell slots is that you will end up with a lack of defensive magic (notably Counterspell and Dispel Magic). A good way to compensate for that is to add the Indomitable ability at 9th level, 13th level, and 17th level. It will let you reroll a save throw, which is basically cheating but the rules let you get away with it.
  • The skill list for wizards, as-written, is too niche and obscure to really be useful on the battlefield. And the battlefield is really where any action is! So drop all of the Intelligence-based skills (Arcana, History, Investigation, Medicine, and Religion) and replace them with skills that will actually be used once in a while: Acrobatics, Animal Handling, Athletics, Intimidation, Perception, and Survival.)
And there you have it! My house-rule for fixing the wizard class. I admit, it takes a bit of elbow grease, but at least it will make the wizard worth playing again. Hopefully Wizards of the Coast will read this post and take action.
Arcane Recovery is NOT lame. It just needs a little boost.

Arcane Recovery. When you take a short rest, you take a long rest instead. This long rest doesn’t count against the long rest you and your party spend overnight.

There! It’s only 1/day, so it’s not that OP…
 


CleverNickName

Limit Break Dancing
:ROFLMAO: I love this thread :ROFLMAO: it makes an amusing counterpart to the completely serious "Casters vs Martials: Part 1 - Magic, its most basic components" thread
I know right? I'm lurking in those treads, thinking of my Hexblade warlock, and the only thing that comes to mind is
Why Dont We Have Both GIF


But nobody likes a threadcrapper, so I just chuckle and scroll on.
 

Ah, this reminds me of the old goldbox series. By Pools of Darkness my guys were so overpowered my magic-user killed a fire giant.

In melee.

1st edition rules, 26th level M-U had 65 hp (4.5*11 (16 CON) + 15*1=65), AC -10 (Bracers AC 2 + Cloak of Protection +4 + Ring of Protection +4 + 18 DEX), THAC0 6 (11-4 for quarterstaff+4 -1 for STR 18), D 1d6+2 (quarterstaff+4 + 18 STR) vs fire giant with 54 hp (12 HD), D 5d6, AC 2, THAC0 9)--the giant hit harder but had a much harder time doing it and wasn't any tougher
 

Silvercat Moonpaw

Adventurer
They should just get rid of the Wizard. Replace it with the Warlock.

Also replace the Sorcerer with Warlock.

Heck, throw out Cleric and Druid and make them Warlock subclasses: no one wants to cast healing anyway.

Bard, too. Call it "Muse Patron".

Paladin? Warlock subclass!

Ranger is cool: they can stay as-is.
 

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