Why do women send mixed signals?

[ThirdWizard]

I think that people who are in a relationship have an obligation to the other person to be the healthiest selves that they reasonably can. That would imply that they should try and get healthy before entering into the relationship in the first place.

Repeated for truth. As things currently stand, you could do a lot of hurting to anyone you get in a relationship with. Be careful. People make mistakes. It doesn't mean they're being malicious to you. And if you, in turn, acting accusitional toward them, then you're only being a jerk. If you embrace the AS, you practically have to give up on being in a meaningful relationship unless your partner also has AS.

 

[KenM]

My take on the meds: it would change my behavior too much. I think I would be dependent on them. I would not be me anymore. Thats why I won't take them. i'm not embracing the AS, I am accepting who I am and dealing with it.

 

[reveal]

My take on the meds: it would change my behavior too much. I think I would be dependent on them. I would not be me anymore. Thats why I won't take them. i'm not embracing the AS, I am accepting who I am and dealing with it.

Are you happy with who you are now?

 

[Rel]

My take on the meds: it would change my behavior too much. I think I would be dependent on them. I would not be me anymore. Thats why I won't take them.

Have you ever even tried them? What were the effects if you did?

And don't talk to me about dependency. I have a condition that was universally fatal less than a hundred years ago (Type 1 Diabetes). I take 4-5 injections of insulin every day of my life and if I stop then I DIE. You're goddam right I'm dependant and happy to be too. I live because I take my medication.

When I was diagnosed with this damned disease when I was 21 years old, it's a good thing that I didn't say, "Well I'm not taking any medication because it would change the way I am." If I'd done that then nobody here would have any clue who I was and worse (FAR worse), I'd have never looked into the blue eyes of my little girl because I'd be long dead.

You're in a good position to make the decision that you have though, Ken. You don't have a wife or kids so, like I said earlier, you're under no obligations to make yourself healthy. But how about you quit asking us for advice since we're in no position to understand your mindset as it is and you're in no mood to change that mindset. I really just don't see how we can be helpful to you on this topic given those limitations.

Maybe we should just talk about D&D?

 

[reveal]

You're in a good position to make the decision that you have though, Ken. You don't have a wife or kids so, like I said earlier, you're under no obligations to make yourself healthy. But how about you quit asking us for advice since we're in no position to understand your mindset as it is and you're in no mood to change that mindset. I really just don't see how we can be helpful to you on this topic given those limitations.

Maybe we should just talk about D&D?

It's like arguing with someone who doesn't believe in dinosaurs. Meaning, you COULD, although you start to wonder if there are better things you could be doing with your time.

 

[KenM]

Are you happy with who you are now?

Yes, I have a good life, I good place to live, a good job. The only thing missing is a special someone. I do hang out with my firends, but all of them are married and only know other married people. No real chance of meeting someone there.
I am happy with how I am, just my relationship issues keep coming up.

 

[reveal]

Yes, I have a good life, I good place to live, a good job. The only thing missing is a special someone. I do hang out with my firends, but all of them are married and only know other married people. No real chance of meeting someone there.
I am happy with how I am, just my relationship issues keep coming up.

That's good.

I think you've gotten a lot of good advice in this thread from people with experience dealing with the opposite sex. Obviously, it's up to you to decide how to use it. I truly hope you find someone but, honestly, I doubt you ever will.

 

[The Shaman]

I have it, so I have to accept it and learn to work with what I have. Thats how I look at it. I know some people will say "try to learn to change your behaivor, ect.." . To me this like trying to tell someone that is blind to "just learn to use your eyes." They are both disabalities, other people need to learn to accept people with them instead of trying to change them.

One of these things is not like the other...

KenM, I have an autistic nephew. He participates in one-on-one counseling as well as age-appropriate group therapy to improve his impulse control and his social skills. He meets with speech therapist to improve his language skills. His family attends classes to help them learn to manage his condition and to deal with related caregiver stress.

To me, this is accepting and learning to work with what he has. He is learning to change his behavior, to overcome his cognitive difficulties, to manage his disability. It's not expecting the world to come to him solely on his terms on the basis of his disability. This is the difference between actively managing autism and passively ignoring its effects on him, his family, and rest of the world.

People with vision impairments adapt through environmental modifications, support groups, and aids such as guide dogs. They can't stop being blind, but they can find work-arounds for many of the limitations that a vision impairment brings. It's unlikely that there will be a cure for autism that will benefit my nephew in his lifetime, but he can "learn to work with what he has."

KenM, please forgive me if these questions are too personal or intrusive, and feel free to ignore them if they are - you've been very forthcoming, so I ask them with that in mind. At what age were you diagnosed with AS? What sorts of treatment did you receive after the diagnosis? Are you familiar with the term "theory of mind deficit?" Do you see a therapist regularly? Are you involved in group therapy or other supervised social skill development opportunities? How do you actively manage your AS?

 

[Rel]

It's like arguing with someone who doesn't believe in dinosaurs.

What's a "dinosaur"?

 

[jester47]

My take on the meds: it would change my behavior too much. I think I would be dependent on them. I would not be me anymore. Thats why I won't take them. i'm not embracing the AS, I am accepting who I am and dealing with it.

Hey Ken,

God is the greatest DM ever. He never presents us with an obstacle that we are incapable of overcoming. God is not laughing at you, being cruel, or screwing you over. He just wants you to be the type of person that can overcome your condition. He is training you for greater things. That is unless he has called you home, in that case youre ed. But AS doesn't kill you, so this is just training. The question is are you going to rise to the challenge He has presented to you. God made you this way, but have you ever asked him to change you? Maybe this thread is the answer to that request. If you haven't asked, give it a try and ask. If it doesn't work, it won't hurt. If it does work then you are the better for it.

Aaron.