Ranger REG
Explorer
Because they are put on this earth to mess with our minds.KenM said:
That and the fact that they have something that we want, no matter how desperate we men are.
Why do women send mixed signals?
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That and the fact that they have something that we want, no matter how desperate we men are.
Teflon Billy
Explorer
KenM said:
So having anything to do with people you don't know is a waste of your time? Attempting to please your girlfriend is a waste of time and attempting to actually determine if you want anything to do with these people (rahter than just abruptly deciding you don't) is a waste of time?
Your time must be unimaginably valuable.
Well, it sounds like you have all the answers then Ken.
I thought from your first post that you were upset with the way women in your life acted towards you, and were looking for some kind of help, explanation or sympathy, but you actually seem to be living in exactly the manner you desire.
I'll take your word for it that it has nothin to do with untreated Asperger's Syndrome's tendency to make the subject love sameness and fear change more than they could ever dislike their current situation.
Glad you've got it all worked out.
Good luck with your future romantic relationships and Godspeed
Xath
Moder-gator
Let me be straightforward with you...
Women will never be straightforward. Even if you enter into a serious relationship, the games continue. If she's upset, she won't tell you she's upset. You're supposed to know she's upset and know the reason why she's upset, all without her telling you with words. However, if you don't know why she's upset, you're just going to prove her point, whatever it is, and give her a physical being on which to vent her frustrations.
What I'm trying to say is, the "games" don't stop. Men and women communicate differently. Sometimes it leads to confrontation. But the thing that makes a relationship work is compromise. You have to give some to get some. And right now, it sounds like you're living in a world of absolutes. That's not a way to build a healthy relationship, whether you're seeking friendship or a soul mate.
You have to give and take. Accept that you're going to differ in opinion.
Also, I totally don't think she's blowing you off. Here's why:
1. She asked you to call her - Normally that wouldn't happen if she was blowing you off.
2. She asked you to call her after this weekend - If she were blowing you off, she wouldn't give you a time to call her.
I've planned social functions before. Sometimes people don't do their part, and things don't get done, so you're stuck a few days ahead of time throwing the whole thing together. She might have underestimated her ability to plan the gathering in her allotted time.
I'm not getting the "blow me off" vibe from your accounts. But if you treat her like she blew you off, she will.
Be nice.
Women will never be straightforward. Even if you enter into a serious relationship, the games continue. If she's upset, she won't tell you she's upset. You're supposed to know she's upset and know the reason why she's upset, all without her telling you with words. However, if you don't know why she's upset, you're just going to prove her point, whatever it is, and give her a physical being on which to vent her frustrations.
What I'm trying to say is, the "games" don't stop. Men and women communicate differently. Sometimes it leads to confrontation. But the thing that makes a relationship work is compromise. You have to give some to get some. And right now, it sounds like you're living in a world of absolutes. That's not a way to build a healthy relationship, whether you're seeking friendship or a soul mate.
You have to give and take. Accept that you're going to differ in opinion.
Also, I totally don't think she's blowing you off. Here's why:
1. She asked you to call her - Normally that wouldn't happen if she was blowing you off.
2. She asked you to call her after this weekend - If she were blowing you off, she wouldn't give you a time to call her.
I've planned social functions before. Sometimes people don't do their part, and things don't get done, so you're stuck a few days ahead of time throwing the whole thing together. She might have underestimated her ability to plan the gathering in her allotted time.
I'm not getting the "blow me off" vibe from your accounts. But if you treat her like she blew you off, she will.
Be nice.
Yo Ken
Just a few comments:
1) Ok, you don't like small talk and parties. Ok thats fine, but these are great opportunities to meet other people. Small talk is a boring chores, I admit, but I think that more people than you think have the same opinion as you. However, many of these people make the effort, because you never know when small talk could lead you to a deep conversation with a smart, beautiful stranger that might become the woman of your life (or just a potential girlfriend, which is better than nothing...).
2) 'It's their loss not mine ...blablabla..." Well, I don't think this attitude helps you much, no offense. This kind of arrogance isn't going to get you very far with woman, people don't suffer a loss by not knowing you; by not going out enough, you don't exist to them, theres no loss for them. I don't say this to offend you, even if it might sound very blunt. What I mean is that your value and your qualities aren't written on your face and your personnal ad, you have to prove them, one way or another.
3) Women send mixed signals: wrong. Some do, but some men do too, and many people can't decipher things right too (Asperg...whatever). You shouldn't let such things slow you down.
Whoa, my fingers are sores... Hope what we all said will help you out man. Good luck.
Just a few comments:
1) Ok, you don't like small talk and parties. Ok thats fine, but these are great opportunities to meet other people. Small talk is a boring chores, I admit, but I think that more people than you think have the same opinion as you. However, many of these people make the effort, because you never know when small talk could lead you to a deep conversation with a smart, beautiful stranger that might become the woman of your life (or just a potential girlfriend, which is better than nothing...).
2) 'It's their loss not mine ...blablabla..." Well, I don't think this attitude helps you much, no offense. This kind of arrogance isn't going to get you very far with woman, people don't suffer a loss by not knowing you; by not going out enough, you don't exist to them, theres no loss for them. I don't say this to offend you, even if it might sound very blunt. What I mean is that your value and your qualities aren't written on your face and your personnal ad, you have to prove them, one way or another.
3) Women send mixed signals: wrong. Some do, but some men do too, and many people can't decipher things right too (Asperg...whatever). You shouldn't let such things slow you down.
Whoa, my fingers are sores... Hope what we all said will help you out man. Good luck.
Something else Ken.
Relationships start with two people that think or feel that they have a chance. They have to change, accept other views and beliefs. If you don't you will be alone forever or in and out of relationships.
You have to give more then you get. You can't be unbending, if you are you will break the relationship. Communication is so very important.
When she wants to go dancing on your gaming night, she should have enough for thought and understanding to tell you a week or three in advance and not moments before the group shows up. You should make an effort to learn how to dance, because she likes to dance, though you might hate it.
She might not like gaming, but should try it before she bad mouths it.
She should respect your wishes and you her's. Do not be unbending, be flexible, don't be anymore demanding then she is, and remember that relationships are not a competition.
Good luck.
Relationships start with two people that think or feel that they have a chance. They have to change, accept other views and beliefs. If you don't you will be alone forever or in and out of relationships.
You have to give more then you get. You can't be unbending, if you are you will break the relationship. Communication is so very important.
When she wants to go dancing on your gaming night, she should have enough for thought and understanding to tell you a week or three in advance and not moments before the group shows up. You should make an effort to learn how to dance, because she likes to dance, though you might hate it.
She might not like gaming, but should try it before she bad mouths it.
She should respect your wishes and you her's. Do not be unbending, be flexible, don't be anymore demanding then she is, and remember that relationships are not a competition.
Good luck.
Queen_Dopplepopolis
First Post
While I can't say I agree with everything Xath said - I can say that I agree with this:
Next Wednesday, find some time finding a cool place to eat and call to suggest it.
Xath said:
Next Wednesday, find some time finding a cool place to eat and call to suggest it.
Queen_Dopplepopolis
First Post
Oh - also... if she gets all crazy and *does* start being all hose beast on you, take this advice:
der_kluge, you are a wise man.
der_kluge said:
der_kluge, you are a wise man.
Bryon_Soulweaver
First Post
Is it just me or are there mostly guys commenting?
Anyways, KenM, I'm in the same boat with you, females send some of the wierdest mixed signals and play all sorts of games. Since both of my bestfriends are a guy and a female, they had a baby not long ago, I can ask them for advise any time one any given situation. Females *want* you, then they say that they dont *want* a serious relationship.... its mind boggling.
One thing I've learned though, if the woman/girl says one thing, expect it to mean two or more different things. "I'll call you later, okay." "Okay, bye." "Bye.".................... They will call later that night or later in the week, its hard to tell. If you call them or they call you, and you ask about it, they will mostly say "I forgot." from what I've seen/heard.
Anyways, KenM, I'm in the same boat with you, females send some of the wierdest mixed signals and play all sorts of games. Since both of my bestfriends are a guy and a female, they had a baby not long ago, I can ask them for advise any time one any given situation. Females *want* you, then they say that they dont *want* a serious relationship.... its mind boggling.
One thing I've learned though, if the woman/girl says one thing, expect it to mean two or more different things. "I'll call you later, okay." "Okay, bye." "Bye.".................... They will call later that night or later in the week, its hard to tell. If you call them or they call you, and you ask about it, they will mostly say "I forgot." from what I've seen/heard.
Bryon_Soulweaver
First Post
Queen_Dopplepopolis said:
ROFLMAO, literaly! And yes, yes he is!
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