Hussar
Legend
So, it's something that REALLY bothers you, but, not enough to actually say anything to the DM about it or do anything about it, unless it's really egregious.There's the element of keeping it secret, of course. I'm not sure why people who feel fudging is perfectly fine also include the need to keep it secret rather than telling everyone when they do it. So that's probably a factor. Then there's a lot of social fear -- if I call this out, this thing I really dislike, what happens in the social setting? So you have that. So, to walk away from a game, you need to have a certain kind of courage and the correct situation. I've been in games where fudging has occurred, I've known about it, and I didn't walk away, although my attachment and care for the game certainly diminished significantly, to the point that I was showing up to hang with friends and didn't really care what happened in the game. Most argument about rules in games sits along this axis as well.
The space isn't "if you dislike fudging you must walk out or you don't really dislike fudging." Fudging will always significantly reduce my enjoyment of a game. If there's not enough other there, then I'll walk. I've done it before. But not every time.
Now, do you think that your experience is widespread or more just a personal one? Do you feel that the table would have had as strong of a reaction to fudging as you do?
My point isn't to diminish your point of view. We like what we like and I can totally get behind finding a new group if the one you are in is not a good match. Totally get that. My point is that while you feel very strongly about this, and there are others in this thread that do as well, I can honestly say I've never seen it be a particular issue. This is the first time I've ever heard of anyone actually walking from a table because of this.
Which brings me back to my point. If this was a huge issue for players and a widespread problem, don't you think we'd hear a lot more about it? Don't you think that we would not have lines in the DMG condoning it? Like I said before, it's not some conspiracy to not tell players that the DM is fudging. It's that IME, fudging is so expected that we wouldn't bother telling people about it.
I remember when I first started playing online and I realized that I had completely stopped fudging. I remember commenting on boards about the fact that I didn't fudge and people being rather surprised that I wasn't fudging. Not fudging was not the standard. Heck, when it's being called out in The Dragon (not even Dragon magazine yet - heck, I bet I could find quotes about it in The Strategic Review) - it's not like it was this extremely rare thing that never happened at tables.