D&D 5E Dealing with a trouble player and a major blow up

[Hussar]

I'm still shocked there are people who support someone who would leave their friends stranded. I couldn't imagine how anyone could do that.

And to not apologize after? If I knew that group I'd have probably punched this guy the next time I see him. It's just not acceptable.

It doesn't matter what the DM did. Actions speak louder than words. I'm sure he probably has reasons he did it but I'm shocked.

More shocked that anyone would let the guy show up the next week.

Just play with these other people. Stop meeting in public so you don't have to worry about this guy. He's not invited. Life is too short.

As a third party sitting at that table though, I couldn't care less who's "at fault". Who cares? Everyone in the situation seems incapable of resolving it, so, why, again as a third party, have to have them piddle on my good time? I'm rather shocked that the store owner isn't stepping in at this point and banning Mr. Tantrum. That sort of crap is just terrible for business and it seems like Maj O. is contributing significantly to the store by running Adventurer's League events. Seems a pretty easy solution to me.

 

[the Jester]

I'm kind of dreading showing up. I'm not sure I can handle gaming with him. But then again, I've been sucking it up and playing with him for years. I think when it comes down to it, that's likely what I'll continue to do.

Dude. That's totally lame. Not to sound harsh, but do you want a solution here? If you just keep sucking it up, it's apparent that you don't, so please never bring up the topic again, because you don't want help or advice, you just want to complain and not do anything about it. That's tiresome. Twice is enough. (Of course, I'm exaggerating when I say this; go ahead and bring it up again if you like. But I trust you see my point.)

Seriously, you know what the answer is. You can solve this problem. I'm just going to repeat Steeldragons' advice (along with his quote of ExploderWizard):

Gaming is supposed to be a fun social activity. Subjecting yourself to annoying players week after week is always your choice. You CAN say no to people if you know that they will spoil the fun of the game for others. Not only CAN you say no, it is your DUTY to tell them no as DM to preserve a good game for your decent players. The fate of a DM who puts up with annoying idiots is being doomed to eventually have nothing but a table full of them to play with.

Why are their rights less important than those of someone who spoils a good time for the group.

A D&D play group is first and foremost a social group. When it comes to individual rights, the rights of those who DON'T disrupt the group should come first.

Most important points here, imho, bolded by me.

THIS. All this. Forward THIS to this girlfriend [who is kind enough to TELL YOU how to behave when she and her BF showup through a third party]. Forward this directly to her.

Include the attachment with the points of organized play and the rights of organizers to tell others not to return and/or eject people from play.

Then tell her she and her boyfriend can make whichever bed they care to lie in.

 

[Celtavian]

As a third party sitting at that table though, I couldn't care less who's "at fault". Who cares? Everyone in the situation seems incapable of resolving it, so, why, again as a third party, have to have them piddle on my good time? I'm rather shocked that the store owner isn't stepping in at this point and banning Mr. Tantrum. That sort of crap is just terrible for business and it seems like Maj O. is contributing significantly to the store by running Adventurer's League events. Seems a pretty easy solution to me.

Didn't you read that many of the people that show up like Mr. Tantrum? They might leave if he leaves? That's also bad for business. We know gaming stores make most of their money off customer loyalty because they can't beat the price of large retailers like Amazon. You know how hard small hobby stores have it. They can't afford to get rid of almost any loyal customer. If Mr. Tantrum and his buddies are buying their books at Amazon, the store owner needs to send them packing.

 

[Celtavian]

I cannot ignore that Major called Mr. Tantrum stupid and he supposedly knows. Ask yourself what you would do if you were hanging around a group that games together at a public venue where you like most of the people and most of them like you, but one guy there, who DMs and holds a fairly prominent position, has called you stupid behind your back? Do you think you and he would get along too well?

I've DMed and played with strange people, not all of them I cared for. Gamers are notorious for strange behavior, bad hygiene, and personality disorders. Heck, this kind of stuff is made fun in media depicting gamers. We even have the term nerdrage we make fun of. When you DM all these things have to be managed. What makes Mr. Tantrum seem so stupid? Because he comes up with goofy ideas to solve situations and expects them to work?

I'd sure like to hear Mr. Tantrum's side. If six of the people there like him enough to leave if Mr. Tantrum is kicked from the group, he must be a lot more likeable than Majoru makes him out to be.

 

[prosfilaes]

Do you think you and he would get along too well?

It turns out that there are people in my gaming community who I don't get along with. If it amounts to a problem in game, I don't play with them. If he couldn't deal with what the DM said about him, then he shouldn't have been at the table. It's certainly clear that he has no business being at the table with the DM now, and the DM shouldn't let him do so if he's not mature enough to back out on his own.

I'd sure like to hear Mr. Tantrum's side.

Besides curiosity, I don't see the point. It wouldn't change anything; these two should clearly not play together.

 

[Dannyalcatraz]

I cannot ignore that Major called Mr. Tantrum stupid and he supposedly knows. Ask yourself what you would do if you were hanging around a group that games together at a public venue where you like most of the people and most of them like you, but one guy there, who DMs and holds a fairly prominent position, has called you stupid behind your back? Do you think you and he would get along too well?

MO called Tantrum that years before this all happened, who then found this out via the GF. Not that MO opinion changed in the interim.

Putting myself in Tantrum's shoes, I probably either wouldn't be interested in gaming with MO or I'd be actively trying to change his opinion of me towards the positive.

What I wouldn't do is act up, act out, and be a pain, thereby engraving said opinion in stone.

Or, in other words:

 

[Celtavian]

Besides curiosity, I don't see the point. It wouldn't change anything; these two should clearly not play together.

That seems about the best option. I'm assuming both parties aren't opting for this option due to the strange group dynamic with Majoru as DM and AL coordinator. Makes it hard for them to avoid each other.

 

[Celtavian]

MO called Tantrum that years before this all happened, who then found this out via the GF. Not that MO opinion changed in the interim.

Putting myself in Tantrum's shoes, I probably either wouldn't be interested in gaming with MO or I'd be actively trying to change his opinion of me towards the positive.

What I wouldn't do is act up, act out, and be a pain, thereby engraving said opinion in stone.

Or, in other words:
View attachment 68868

It sounds like a bunch of people there like Mr. Tantrum enough to leave if he is permanently ejected. If Mr. Tantrum inspires that kind of friendship from others, do you think he is as bad as Majoru paints him? I don't know. Seems if the guy was as much of a jerk as Majoru paints him, everyone else would notice and dislike the guy.

 

[Shasarak]

If someone called you stupid or said you set off his "stupid" meter, would you want to play with that guy as DM?

I guess it would depend on how stupid I was.

 

[Celtavian]

I guess it would depend on how stupid I was.

Or how stupid the other guy thinks you are whether or not you think you're acting stupid. You might feel you're being Mr. Funny Guy, while the DM thinks you're stupid. Is the DM always right in those situations? Can DMs pull that card in this situation?