Holiday Customer Service Hell.

[Argent Silvermage]

I have started this thread as a way of venting due to the holiday season. I work Customer Service over the phone for a company that sells movies of all sorts from G to XXX. We also sell “adult novelties”. I just feel a need to share some of the great idiots that I deal with every day…

Idiot 1: “I see you can use the cheap shipping type only to the continental United States… Does that include Texas?”

Idiot 2: The customer had purchased a ‘realistic’ artificial female body part (starts with a V I’m being good for Eric’s Grandma). He wanted to send it back because…. “It don’t taste real.”

Idiot 3: The customer requests the cheapest and slowest form of shipping that in the catalog it states ‘takes between 1 to 4 weeks shipping time.’ This A-hat demands that we ship at that rate but we send it so he can get it over-night. I explain the how the shipping works and he says it’s up to me to get it to him overnight for that price and if he doesn’t get it he’ll sue me. Needless to say he will not be getting any shipment at all.


I’ll be updating this thread as the season progresses but do any of you CSRs have any funny stories to add?

Argent.

 

[nakia]

Well, your job certainly puts you in a position to deal with much wierdness. "It doesn't taste real." I laughed and shuddered at the same time.

I spent last Christmas working at a bookstore, and was fortunate to leave this year in October, before the madness began.

 

[derelictjay]

Idiot 1: “I see you can use the cheap shipping type only to the continental United States… Does that include Texas?”

Well in defense of this idiot, alot of people, in Texas, still believe that Texas is still an independent republic.

Sorry, I had to say it. But; nonetheless, it is true.

 

[der_kluge]

You know, if I'd bought said item, and it tasted real, I think I would have sent it back, because that would have just been strange.

And what's the point of eating the thing anyway? It's not like it's getting any enjoyment out of that.

Ok, I'll stop.

 

[ASH]

I have an issue, l not so funny but annoying and frusterated. I work at Walmart in Iowa. Recently they moved the area i work in to the front because our theft problem has risen. The managment seem to think that if we are working near the doors, our presence will deture criminals from stealing. That said, we had a woman walk out the doors a few days ago and trigger the electronic alarm. So I ran out the door and asked if she had her recipt so i could figure out what was not deactivated and deactivate it... She politely said that she did not buy anything. I then asked if she had a bag that she bought here at a different time that was not deactivated proberly, and would walk back in and so we could see if the electronic tag was on her, or a different customer. She said no smiled at me, and walked away.

So, i had a woman steal somthing and because we have such hands off techniques I cant do anything about it.

Makes me angry.

 

[der_kluge]

Ash, having worked at Wal-Mart myself, I'm fairly certain you do have a right to drag her back in the store and check her belongings. I saw it done many, many times.

 

[DungeonmasterCal]

Idiot 2: The customer had purchased a ‘realistic’ artificial female body part (starts with a V I’m being good for Eric’s Grandma). He wanted to send it back because…. “It don’t taste real.”.

AAAAAGGGGHHH!!! AAAAGGGGHHH!!! AAAIIIEEEEE!!!! NO NO NO NO NO NO!!!!

 

[MrFilthyIke]

Well, I answer phones at one of the major airlines here in the good ole US of A...there are so many it's not funny.

The best one is:

Agent: "What cities were you wanting to travel between?"

Customer: "I want to go to New York"

Agent: "And where are you?"

Customer: "My kitchen"

This happens at least once a month in one way shape or form.

 

[Thornir Alekeg]

Ash, having worked at Wal-Mart myself, I'm fairly certain you do have a right to drag her back in the store and check her belongings. I saw it done many, many times.

It may be done, but I don't believe they may not have the right to do so. I beleive different states have differing laws on the rights of store employees to detain, and especially to search a suspected shoplifter. Detaining them might be OK, but you should wait for the police before searching, unless you are willing to risk a lawsuit, which is sometimes exactly what they are looking for.

I used to work at the Customer Service desk in a book/music/video store. One year in the post-Christmas exhange frenzy I had a customer return a CD that had been opened. When I asked him what was wrong with the CD he told me it sucked and he wanted his money back (he was already acting like a major ss at that point). I explained the policy we had that opened CDs could only be exchanged for the same title in the event there was a defect. The guy went off on me and demanded to speak to the store manager. The store manager was a woman who stood about 5 feet 4 inches tall. This guy gets right up in her face and demands a cash refund. Needless to say he did not get one from her either. If the idiot had been civil, I might have allowed him to make the exchange for a different CD.

 

[der_kluge]

You know, now that you mention it, those CD return policies are just stupid. I bought a CD (of Michael Torke's music, if you must know) from a Borders a couple of weeks ago. I got to the car, merrily ripped all that accursed plastic from the thing, and put it in my CD player. Every track on it was horribly scratchy and bad. In fact, I didn't even get out of the parking lot before I turned right around, and took it back into the store.

Of course, Border's policy is stupid, and unforgiving. I could only get store credit for the CD. I would have happily exchanged it for another of the same CD, but they didn't have two of them. I ended up finding another CD of equal value, but it wasn't nearly as good as what (at least what I could hear) the first one was.

But I mean, come on! I bought it TEN FREAKING MINUTES ago and you're telling me I can't get my money back? That's absurd.