It's hard being an adult gamer

[Mark]

My group can usually only manage once a month too. We all bring our calendars to each session, and at the end we decide when we're going to play next. All of us play in another game together, with a DM and 4 other players. That game meets on the second Sunday of the month at noon. Be there or be square. Of course, with 8 players it's still possible to run if you're missing a few. My game does not run unless all 4 players (and me, of course!) can make it.

I play in another game with a completely different set of people, and that game meets every other Saturday at 6:00. It's a big group too, and unless the DM can't make it, it's on. We've played with as few as two people and as many as 10.

So, overall, you play three time a month?

 

[scourger]

My gaming group, such as it is, meets weekly. We used to meet on Thursdays, but we switched to Wednesdays about a year ago. I prefer Thursday and will try to get it back, but whatever. We play from 6:30 to 10. Not everyone shows for every game night, but that's just the way it is. When preparing to run a game for them, I can really only count on 2 of the 4 of them; but I plan as if all 4 will be there. It's tough, especially for D&D. Having it on as much a regular day and times as possible makes it easier to schedule around. I have a dilemma with this week's game because it isn't an RPG but some kind of board or card game that I am less excited about playing. I would rather play Texas Hold 'Em at a local restaurant. But, I made a commitment to the group and will stick to it. These people are my friends, too, so I don't just bail on them when there is something I would rather do (another leisure activity); as opposed to something else that I must do (a non-leisure activity). We have lost members who decided there were things they would rather do. Their commitments were weak, and it showed. You get what you give.

So there it is. Schedule your game for you. Run it for you. If people show up, great; include them in your fun. If people don't show up, that's okay, too; just tell them you're done with them for that activity and find something else to do that is fun for you--perhaps running a game for people who will share your enjoyment.

 

[Buttercup]

So, overall, you play three time a month?

I do! Lucky me, eh? My husband plays in my game and the other monthly game.

 

[Mark]

I do! Lucky me, eh? My husband plays in my game and the other monthly game.

That's a great deal!

 

[Agamon]

I found a great solution to this problem: younger players! Seriously, it wasn't intended, but when my younger brother started playing in my group, his friends started replacing my friends as they dropped out due to lack of time/moving/etc. Now I'm playing Return to the Temple of Elemental Evil with 6 players bi-weekly, 5 of them 21-22 years old. Most of them have little problem with a strict schedule.

I'm getting my homebrew ready to go again when RttToEE is done, and I've had to break it up into 2 groups of 5 players, as old and current players all want in on it. Apparently it gained a rep as a fun game to play and everyone wants to play in it again or try it for the first time. As one of the adult gamers, I hope I can keep up to the demand of running 2 bi-weekly homebrew games...I'm currently having trouble preping a published adventure in time for gameday... :\

 

[Digital M@]

Don't schedule on weekends (sorry if this has been said).

It is hard to free up a Friday or Saturday night every week. There are many different activities fighting for those days. Dating w/ wife or girl friend (or both), family and friends parties and social gatherings, projects around the house, etc. An occasional weekend will work out, but few adults can give up every Saturday or Friday night.

 

[kenobi65]

I need to definately work that type of game into my sessions. I don't see how people complete an adventure in 1 session though. It doesn't seem like enough time for PC's to get involved and complete an adventure without it being the same dull scenario each time.

I play a lot of RPGA adventures, and those are written to fit into 4-hour time slots at conventions. I take a lot of adventure-design cues from those:
- Usually only 2 combats in a night, maybe 3 if two are short
- 6 or so total encounters in a night
- Start adventures in the middle of things (assume the PCs are already together, and where you need them for the first encounter) in order to avoid wasting a bunch of time in pulling the PCs together

While you can't do all conceivable types of stories in this time-frame, you might be surprised at just how much variety there can be.

 

[Runesong42]

At least most of you posters HAVE a group.

My 'group' consists of me and one of my oldest friends. We grew up together in the same hometown and wound up living in the same city. We've played D&D together with our other old friends way back in the day, but now it's just the two of us.

As such, we know each other's playing style and when we work together on a project it usually produces stellar results (IMHO, of course). However, nowadays it's really difficult to get together. He works 4 days on, 3 days off for the military during the day (8 am -4 pm). I work overnights 5 days a week, days off random but usually together (midnight - 8 am). And, he usually doesn't feel it's worth the effort unless we have a full day's worth of playing that's not under any kind of pressure for time.

We lost touch for about a year, and during that time, I met up with a small gaming group of 3 that got together once a week or once every two weeks. We played in the time we had, usually 5-11 as three of us were all night auditors and we could work around the other guy's schedule. I learned the value of short, efficient gaming sessions; if an adventure had to be carried over two or three sessions, that was fine -- I learned how to properly pace as well. Now, all I have to do is teach my ol' gaming partner the ways of the short game...

 

[GlassJaw]

I actually game more now than I ever have in the past, even when I was in school.

In my experience, having difficulty gaming on a consistent basis has less to do with being an adult as it does with having kids. Now of course having kids usually assumes you are an adult but being an adult in and of itself does not necessarily create problems for gaming.

In my main group, no one has kids and the ages range from early 20's to late 30's. Sure, someone misses a session once in a while or we have to cancel a session here and there but more often than not, we game every week. Job, vacation, or illness are probably the most common reasons for someone who misses a session.

In the groups I have been in with players who have kids, that is by far and away the main reason someone has to cancel a session. It's also the most common reason for a last-minute cancellation.

This is by no means any kind of editorial. It's just what I've experienced being a gamer in my late 20's versus gaming when I was in my teens. Having children (especially young children) and consistent gaming are just extremely difficult.

 

[WizarDru]

Don't schedule on weekends (sorry if this has been said).

It is hard to free up a Friday or Saturday night every week. There are many different activities fighting for those days. Dating w/ wife or girl friend (or both), family and friends parties and social gatherings, projects around the house, etc. An occasional weekend will work out, but few adults can give up every Saturday or Friday night.

Except for those of who can and do, as witnessed up-thread. We find running a game on the weekend MUCH easier, as we don't have the same time restrictions a weeknight game might impose. I leave the house at 5:30AM every morning, and don't get home until 6:00PM every evening. Factor in dinner and time with the kids (not to mention sporting activities year-round, school activities, chores and the like) and the weekend is the ONLY time we really can effectively gather to play.

In my case, my wife is also a gamer, so time spent gaming IS time spent together. We periodically also have 'game nights', where we play board and video games instead of D&D, and then invite the non-gaming spouses to join in (and bring kids). 10 person Apples-to-Apples is hellafun.

As mentioned above, it's a question of priorities; that isn't to say we don't cancel some game nights due to schedule conflicts: this weekend, we'll be leaving on vacation, so the game is on hold for two weeks. Around the holidays, we may skip most of the month of December, depending on what part of the week they fall. But if the game is ranked highly as a social event, then time can be made for it. It's merely a question of how often. In our case, moving it back and forth from Friday to Saturday makes it easier to accomdate schedule shifts, and running the game in the evening allows us to accomadate cases where spouses need to be abandoned with children (who are by that time sleeping).

In other words, as I mentioned above, Flexibility. There is no single answer that works for everybody, especially due to the differing dynamics of ages and lifestyles. This is exactly why we created a 'beta' game, where attendance was not required and whoever showed was who would play. When we originally organized it, I used the small AEG pamphlet-sized modules, designed for an evening's entertainment. These are now available in a book, and I highly recommend them for this purpose.