• Welcome to this new upgrade of the site. We are now on a totally different software platform. Many things will be different, and bugs are expected. Certain areas (like downloads and reviews) will take longer to import. As always, please use the Meta Forum for site queries or bug reports. Note that we (the mods and admins) are also learning the new software.

What are your Pedantic Complaints about D&D?

aco175

Explorer
Agree with potions. I also don’t think you should be able to pour one down an unconscious character’s throat. Most of my players seem to think that is a thing.
What do you mean, this is not a real thing. We can not have been doing this wrong for 30 years.

Why does everything hate Elves and want to eat them? Are Elves delicious or something? I'm now considering making a homebrew setting where Elves are so delicious that it becomes comical.
The delicious ones are the Keebler sub-race, the others are icky.
 

BookBarbarian

Expert Long Rester
1. Dragon alignment based on color. Almost the first fact we disregard anytime we play D&D. I find this s silly dislike because that's just the lore in the worlds D&D runs, and that's cool - we just never play in those worlds, and always make our own, so dragons are just dragons, and color is just a species, and morality and spirituality are all individual concepts.
A while back I houseruled that all dragons are born brown, and it's their emerging personality that determines color and breath weapon.

Far and above, my biggest problem that I have...and I say this as a cis-het American dude...is the breast fetish.

Armor with breasts. Reptiles with breasts. Gargoyles with breasts. FRIGGIN WARFORGED WITH BREASTS?! Seriously, this needs to stop. Please. I'm begging you.
Now I am imagining a warforged designed to provide sustenance for non-warforged soldiers. This is... not a thought I would have predicted I would have today.
 
Last edited:
The Book of Erotic Fantasy very vaguely - and IMO very badly - waved at this, but that was it as far as I recall....
No, I'm pretty sure it was published by Mongoose in their Encyclopedia Arcane series. But I don't own it and can't tell you how on point it was.
 

Aebir-Toril

Explorer
More pedantry:

How long are Elven Telomeres exactly? This is valuable information that I need for intense scientific research.

Why do 5e Undead not have vulnerability to Radiant damage? Sure, they're not immune or resistant to it, but why use Radiant at all if it's not any more effective than Force or Fire?

How on Toril do Orcs cross-breed with Ogres? How? HoW? hOw? HOW?
 

Charlaquin

Explorer
He may be right in the sense that any single edged weapon is a backsword, but be as that may, when I picture in my head a falchion I picture something that is tip heavy much like a machete.
That’s a common misconception due to the silhouette, particularly of the Elmslie type 1a, but really they don’t handle like machetes at all. The blades are extremely thin, and tapered so that the balance, while slightly more tip-heavy than a typical arming sword, is optimized for quick, fluid cutting movements, not hacking like a machete or an axe.

For a movie example, the 'Green Destiny' is very much a Chinese variation on the same sort of sword design as an arming sword, but Michelle Yu's character prefers a sword that is translated as 'machete' and it's clearly very much after the same pattern as a Falchion. So these weapons would, at least in my head, despite the cultural differences get put in to arming sword and falchion families.
Yeah, the blade on Yu’s sword looks pretty much like an Elmslie 4c+ or maybe ++ in silhouette. The prop looks like it has a MUCH thicker blade than a Medieval European backsword, and it certainly doesn’t have the appropriate fullers, but that doesn’t mean much since it is a prop, and I don’t know enough about Chinese swords to make a guess about whether it would handle like a medieval European backsword or not. But in D&D I’d absolutely put it in the same category (and Green Destiny in the Arming sword category).

By contrast, when I picture in my head a backsword I picture something that often has a basket hilt of some sort and which is very much not tip heavy and often highly tapered and obviously designed to balance cutting and thrusting. Generally speaking when I speak of a backsword, I'm speaking of a straight bladed single edged weapon, or else I would use a more specific term like sabre or scimitar or what not. So in my head I might think there is more similarity in employment and purpose and function between a Kilij and a Falchion, than I would between a Falchion and a Backsword.
I don’t know much about Kilij, but the basket hilted backsword is a direct evolution of the medieval European backsword, many of which were very much built to be able to thrust as well as cut.

You should look into the Elmslie Falchion and Messer typology if you’re interested in this stuff.
 

GreenTengu

Registered User
How on Toril do Orcs cross-breed with Ogres? How? HoW? hOw? HOW?
Huh. My interpretation of the D&D setting is that Orcs are more closely related to Ogres than they are humans.
Humans can breed with Orcs. Humans can breed with Ogres.

But looking at Orcs and Ogres, they kind of seem to be the same basic genus-- just Ogres are the bigger, dumber species within it.

So why wouldn't Orcs be able to breed with Ogres?
 

Aebir-Toril

Explorer
Huh. My interpretation of the D&D setting is that Orcs are more closely related to Ogres than they are humans.
Humans can breed with Orcs. Humans can breed with Ogres.

But looking at Orcs and Ogres, they kind of seem to be the same basic genus-- just Ogres are the bigger, dumber species within it.

So why wouldn't Orcs be able to breed with Ogres?
Because Ogres are Large, it just doesn't seem physically possible. Furthermore, they don't really seem like the same Genus as Orcs to me, but it could be a matter of interpretation.

As a note, I like your interpretation, I've never encountered that particular thesis about Humans, Orcs, and Ogres before.
 

drl2

Villager
I used to think this way as well, but the implementation to make that work is more complex than you might think. You think the hard part is working it out for every monster. That's the easy part. Basically this falls into a category of "game should be more realistic" where the cost of implementing that realism is actually high rather than low.

I actually more or less agree :) But I bounce back and forth these days between D&D and Mighty Protectors (which does it the "right" way) and it's one of the mechanics from the latter that I prefer over how D&D does it. MP, of course, doesn't have a ubiquitous Monster Manual, published official materials by the hundreds, and homebrews by the tens of thousands that it needs to maintain compatibility with.
 

Charlaquin

Explorer
Far and above, my biggest problem that I have...and I say this as a cis-het American dude...is the breast fetish.

Armor with breasts. Reptiles with breasts. Gargoyles with breasts. FRIGGIN WARFORGED WITH BREASTS?! Seriously, this needs to stop. Please. I'm begging you.
I agree with you about reptiles. But frankly, in a setting where women-at-arms are a common and open thing, armor with breasts makes as much sense as armor with dicks, which are a real historical thing. And gargoyles and warforged? I prefer the breastfeed variety of both, but they are both constructs presumably created by human men, so I wouldn’t put it past them.
 

Jer

Explorer
Why do 5e Undead not have vulnerability to Radiant damage? Sure, they're not immune or resistant to it, but why use Radiant at all if it's not any more effective than Force or Fire?
To screw with my kid's head. (Literally this weekend: "What do you mean wraiths aren't vulnerable to radiant damage? Check that again that has to be wrong." They've just been assuming that radiant damage was hitting the undead harder - until they met one with enough hp to make them suspicious. Good times...)
How on Toril do Orcs cross-breed with Ogres? How? HoW? hOw? HOW?
Please don't ask this question - someone may post a diagram and then I'd need eye bleach. The warforged thing already has me needing brain bleach.
 

Psyzhran2357

Villager
Yeah, the blade on Yu’s sword looks pretty much like an Elmslie 4c+ or maybe ++ in silhouette. The prop looks like it has a MUCH thicker blade than a Medieval European backsword, and it certainly doesn’t have the appropriate fullers, but that doesn’t mean much since it is a prop, and I don’t know enough about Chinese swords to make a guess about whether it would handle like a medieval European backsword or not. But in D&D I’d absolutely put it in the same category (and Green Destiny in the Arming sword category).
Going off of pictures I found on the internet alone, that style of sword is called a niuweidao (ox-tailed sabre). It is intentionally blade-heavy with that distinctive flare at the tip of the blade, compared to the other common styles of Qing Dynasty sabres, the liuyedao (willow-leaf sabre) and the yanmaodao (goosequill sabre). The willow-leaf sabre has a moderate curve to it, as if you took a Weatern infantry sabre and put Chinese hilt furniture on it. Meanwhile the goosequill sabre is straight but single-edged. The willow-leaf and goosequill sabres were military weapons, while the ox-tailed sabre was a civilian weapon used primarily in martial arts. This company makes functional replicas, with inages for reference: https://www.dynastyforge.com/swords/chinese_arms/sabers/
 

Monayuris

Explorer
What do you mean, this is not a real thing. We can not have been doing this wrong for 30 years.
I actually never seen an actual rule that allows this... specifically to an unconscious character. Regardless, its one of my pedantic complaints. I'm just not convinced that pouring liquid down an unconscious person's throat is going to have the effect that one expects. I'd actually expect you'd have problems with liquid filling the lungs and drowning and stuff like that.
 

Seramus

Explorer
I actually never seen an actual rule that allows this... specifically to an unconscious character. Regardless, its one of my pedantic complaints. I'm just not convinced that pouring liquid down an unconscious person's throat is going to have the effect that one expects. I'd actually expect you'd have problems with liquid filling the lungs and drowning and stuff like that.
Wait. How do potions work? You drink them, and the effects usually happen immediately... which is much faster than digestion or letting it enter the bloodstream. And do people puke after drinking the really foul ones? Or does the liquid just vanish?

“This potion grants you 5 rounds of haste, severe diarrhea, and intestinal cramping.”
 

Fenris-77

Explorer
Wait. How do potions work? You drink them, and the effects usually happen immediately... which is much faster than digestion or letting it enter the bloodstream. And do people puke after drinking the really foul ones? Or does the liquid just vanish?

“This potion grants you 5 rounds of haste, severe diarrhea, and intestinal cramping.”
You forgot the oily discharge. No one ever mentions that part.

Keep in mind these are pedantic complaints, not actual problems. That said, I mentioned Rapiers earlier, and I'm really starting to think that's not a pedantic complaint for me.
 

Advertisement

Top