Harmon said:
You have to give more then you get. You can't be unbending, if you are you will break the relationship. Communication is so very important.
This could be one of the most important statements made in this thread, so I'll quote it one more time.
Harmon said:
You have to give more then you get. You can't be unbending, if you are you will break the relationship. Communication is so very important.
I will admit that my knowledge and understanding of Asperger's is pretty minimal, but I think you, Ken, have to understand that unless you find an absolute saint of a woman who completely understands this difference you have, you will have no choice but to make some efforts on your part, some of which may not come naturally.
Completely honest, completely open communications do not work with most of the U.S. population that does not have Apserger's Syndrome. Those of us who do not have this condition
do say things we do not mean in order to be polite and we also expect other people to do the same, it is a part of our culture, and is not something that is easy to change.
What you are going to have to accept is that, when you find a woman who is genuinely interested in you and is willing to accept you for who you are, she will, out of understanding of you condition, make an effort at being more directly honest with you. It will not be natural for her to do so, and as result she may not be perfect at it. You then have to go against your own natural tendencies and try and accept that she was not trying to be hurtful or deceiving, but just acted naturally.
As an aside, my guess is that the personal ads may not be the best way for you to meet women. The early stages of dating someone whom you do not know are difficult enough without this potential communication disconnect that your Asperger's could bring on. I would think your best bet would be to meet women through people you know who understand you and who could help bridge any potential misunderstandings. I could be way off on this, but maybe not.