Do you tell pretty girls that they're pretty?

[Rel]

Well, what I mean is that you probably toss out compliments to people as a functionof your personality, while when I do it it's ususally as more of a "means to an end".

Ah, got it.

I do try and compliment people a lot. And as I've said before, most of the ones I offer are "performance based" rather than ones about appearance. When somebody tells me that I've done a good job then it makes me really happy. Not only that, it makes me want to put in more effort in general and especially for THAT individual.

So when I get really good service at a restaurant or from the guy painting my house, I always say, "You've really done an amazing job and I'm impressed. I'm going to recommend you to my friends." I'll even ask them for business cards to hand out sometimes. My experience is that that person is going to do a good job for me in the future and a good job for any friends I recommend them to as well. (I suppose that in that light it is a bit of a means to an end.)

This also makes me feel more than justified if I leave a crappy tip for crappy service or if I bitch about somebody doing a poor job. I know that I reward good effort so I have no qualms calling out a poor job.

I'm particularly apt to give compliments on a good job under tough circumstances. When I can tell that somebody is having a hard time doing their best but they're doing it anyway, I go out of my way to thank them. I know too well how easy it is to let your performance slide when you feel bad or are distracted by other concerns.

This kind of brings me full circle to another memorable time when I gave a girl a compliment on her looks. It was a hot day in the summer and I stopped in one of my favorite hamburger places to find that their AC was out. The beautiful girl who manned the counter and fry vat had to have been hot as hell (in the temperature sense as well) but she was not only still very attractive but kept a pleasant disposition (note the common theme here: Being pleasant is attractive. Being unpleasant is unattractive.) despite her discomfort. As I was departing with my burger and fries (no way I was eating in there instead of the AC comfort of my office) I said, "How you stay looking so pretty in this hot kitchen is amazing but not nearly so amazing as how you stay so cheerful."

On that occasion I didn't have to wonder at how the compliment was taken. She beamed and said, "You saying that makes it all worth it."

 

[Queen_Dopplepopolis]

This kind of brings me full circle to another memorable time when I gave a girl a compliment on her looks. It was a hot day in the summer and I stopped in one of my favorite hamburger places to find that their AC was out. The beautiful girl who manned the counter and fry vat had to have been hot as hell (in the temperature sense as well) but she was not only still very attractive but kept a pleasant disposition (note the common theme here: Being pleasant is attractive. Being unpleasant is unattractive.) despite her discomfort. As I was departing with my burger and fries (no way I was eating in there instead of the AC comfort of my office) I said, "How you stay looking so pretty in this hot kitchen is amazing but not nearly so amazing as how you stay so cheerful."

On that occasion I didn't have to wonder at how the compliment was taken. She beamed and said, "You saying that makes it all worth it."

Rel - you are one of the damned nicest guys in the entire world. That story makes me happy just reading it.

 

[reveal]

Rel - you are one of the damned nicest guys in the entire world. That story makes me happy just reading it.

I don't think he's that nice. Look at his sig. He's threatening to have me make fun of people. Now I, on the other hand, would never do that to someone.

 

[Thotas]

Chiming in with Queen D here. In an earlier post, I said genuine compliments are good things in and of themselves -- and that's one of the best compliments I've ever heard of!

 

[mythusmage]

Say, "Hello.". Then say, "You look good today. It was nice meeting you."

Just remember how important sincerity is. Once you've learned to fake that you should have no problems.

 

[Rel]

Now I, on the other hand, would never do that to someone.

I love how at the moment your sig randomizer says "Jesus loves reveal." It goes well with the halo.

Thank you, Queen D & Thotas. It makes me feel good to give compliments, especially to people who know how to take them. My wife is getting better but has not always taken compliments well. She gets embarassed and says something self depricating to take away from what I've complimented. I've tried to explain that the proper response is to simply say, "Thank you...

...Now make love to me you WILD STALLION!"


It's a work in progress.

 

[reveal]

...Now make love to me you WILD STALLION!"


It's a work in progress.

Hopefully it wasn't progressing while you were typing that.

 

[Rel]

Hopefully it wasn't progressing while you were typing that.

I don't screw while typing "Jesus". It ain't right.

 

[reveal]

I don't screw while typing "Jesus". It ain't right.

Does that mean you're wife has never shouted out "Oh God!" at the right moment? Poor woman.

 

[Queen_Dopplepopolis]

My wife is getting better but has not always taken compliments well. She gets embarassed and says something self depricating to take away from what I've complimented. I've tried to explain that the proper response is to simply say, "Thank you...

...Now make love to me you WILD STALLION!"

You know, Rel... that is the exact response *I* got from your wife last night when I told her that she had very nice ... eyes.