Shayuri, I'm not really sure I understand your frustration. In case it isn't clear, this is the system I've been using:
Every character gets a turn every round. You could look at it like this:
All Enemies, Turn 1.
all Players, Turn 2.
It's not as if you're losing turns. We haven't had a single round of combat in which you didn't have a turn. It's just that I've been lumping the enemies into a group and the players into another.
So, to reply directly to your post:
"the current system unfairly penalizes those of us who do"
In what way are you being penalized? Everyone is taking a turn - the only difference is that the enemies begin the round. If it would make everyone happier, we could switch it so that the PC's act before the villains. You haven't lost a turn or suffered any mechanical disadvantage except first strike, which I'm willing to renegotiate.
It's also a form of metagaming, in that real-world situations are having undue effect on in-game events.
I really don't understand how real life is adversely effecting anything. I've never moved on without you (or anyone, for that matter). If you could maybe explain your position more clearly, I'd like to help.
So here's what I'm trying to understand -- you'd be happier if we rolled initiative, right? But what would that really change? Nobody is getting his turn taken, and what does it matter what order everybody posts in, so long as everybody gets a turn?
Shayuri, you're a terrific player, and I want to do my best as DM for you. I'm willing to talk about this until we can settle on a system that makes everyone happy. Let's work this out.
Everybody else, please weigh in on this. I'd appreciate it if everybody could throw in some feedback so I can know if this is a problem specific to Shay, or if others are frustrated by it.
-DF