I am curious about minions too. Cant you just give them one hit point? Is there something more expansive than that which requires rules mechanics?
In 4e they also automatically did average damage on a hit, tended to have high to-hit values, took no damage on miss IIRC, and maybe one or two other little things.
I think you'd probably hate it when I make chocolate chip cookies then.

Much like I prefer a soft cookie, I prefer D&D with a lot of leeway. Besides, a lot of crunch is just artificial fluff, does it matter what the DC for climbing a wall based on material if the DM just decides the material of the wall anyway?
Yeah honestly I kinda want 5e to loosen up a bit more, not get more high strung.
In Matt Coville's Flee, Mortals! big fat monster book, he implemented minion rules in which the minions have normal hit points but drop to 0 if they take any damage. It makes sense given their explanation: some spells (like sleep) interact in weird ways when you specifically give minions 1 hit point.
That works really well. You can just apply that to any monster, too, if you want dangerous archer minions, just apply that rule to the Archer or Scout statblock.
Uh…unless you’re altering Matt’s minion rules there’s nothing about them that will “put fear” into the PCs. Once the group lands its one hit and it does 1 hp of damage per minion, your players will laugh and wade through them…fearless as ever.
Um...no, they won't, because ganking 1 minion per attack still leaves 20 minions shooting at you for damage that would be normal on an MM mook. It just means you can use more mooks, force the PCs to strategize, and exert more control over the battlefield.
Now, sure, I run minions more like very large swarms instead, and often run their attacks as a group attack AoE, so that their turns only take about as much time as two regular monsters, at most, rather than 10 monsters, but the other way works fine, too.