D&D General What would a succubus say?

[MNblockhead]

The wizard in our party has the ability to summon fiends and summoned a succubus. It died but when he summoned again and asked if he could summon the same individual, I said sure. Its been fun to come up with various borderline inappropriate comments for her to make, but I would like a sizeable list of pre-prepared quips that a summoned succubus might say.

I'm not looking for anything too lewd. I'm thinking more in vein of double entendres, teasing, light roasting, and playful come-ons.

For example, if a male PC misses an attack or fails a skill check, she might say: "Don't worry, hon, it happens to everyone."

Of course, what an incubus would say would be just as appropriate and I don't think these kinds of fiends care much about which gender they flirt with and roast. She shouldn't go easy on the female PCs.

Any ideas?

 

[Shiroiken]

Umm... I think any fiend would say "you $%@^#, you let me die!"

 

[MNblockhead]

Umm... I think any fiend would say "you $%@^#, you let me die!"

I suppose that depends on the designs of higher level fiends. You may control the fiend that you conjure, but its dangerous to think that this does not draw attention and draw you into the web of fiendish plans. In my game, she's more apt to make a comment about "you just can't live without me. Understandable, my dear." And then she'll continue subtly steering the party towards whatever ends those in her infernal hierarchy are scheming towards.

 

[Tonguez]

“Okay, so am I your new booty call?”

”really?” sniff “you couldnt keep it up the last time....”

”eew do you want them to stick those things in me again?”

“Keep it up darling and I might get addicted”

”Dungeons, Blood, Demons? - You’re so romantic!”

 

[Oofta]

Keeping things PG-13

Wielding a 2-handed weapon:

• Poor baby. Overcompensating for something?
• Ooh, the size of that thing that reminds me of my first husband.

Monk:

• I bet you're good with your hands
• Slap it harder!

Bard:

• Why do such pretty things come in such empty packages?
• I'd like to put you in a gilded cage and make you sing for your supper

Wizard:

• Is that a wand in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?
• Ooh, I hear you have magic fingers ... and other parts.

Heavy Armor:

• I've heard of using protection when you're getting frisky but I think you overdid it!
• Aren't you cute! And I forgot my can opener at home! Guess we do this the hard way.

Rogue:

• I bet your tool could open my lock
• I hear you like it with the lights out

 

[Richards]

Given a succubus's penchant for draining victims through a kiss, she'd like make frequent offers to wounded allies of the wizard to "come over here so I can kiss it and make it all better."

Johnathan

 

[bulletmeat]

"Mmm, watching you suffer is almost as fun as when I bring misery to your parent/passed guardian/mentor's soul.
The best is when I'm done... they ask for more. You'll be begging too."

 

[Imaculata]

I would have the succubus try and make dangerous propositions and deals in exchange for her favor.

"Sure, I'll help you darling. But if you want me to help your friend, how about a kiss first?"

"If you get me something nice next time, I will put in some extra effort. Bring me something magical and shiny."

"I will save your friend if you can hook me up with him. What do you say?"

"All these late night calls are lovely, but the boss downstairs is eager to meet you."

"You really should visit down below some time and meet my elders. I'm sure they'd welcome you with open jaws."

"Do you think we can meet up after all this lovely bloodshed? Me... you... a funeral pire lit dinner?"

"Hey, pssst. Tell your cleric her god is a lie. She'll thank me later."

 

[rgoodbb]

Summon me once, shame on me
Summon me twice, shame on you
Third time's a Charm lover-boy...

I've had two arrivals, both in one night.
You adorable Wizard, you're doing it right.

You again, you're having a laugh
It's time to find out if your wand is a staff

I heard tales that your magical missile never misses
You're an auto-hit and I'll devour you in kisses

I'll do you this favour, for I am your vice
But for my behaviour there'll be a steep price

Each time we meet, we create a new brood
These're your new daughters, hungry for food

 

[Asisreo]

This is a very clever way to get internet strangers to flirt with you, OP.