None of that addresses the stupid by otherwise smart characters and script.
if you can destroy ships by flying thru them at light speed, that's all anyone would do. And all that technology, and they can't fly remotely? We can fly planes remotely now.... You are a great leader/general, and you tell no one your plan? What if you die? And all of that is in the last few minutes ....
I find it amusing that fans are willing to tie themselves in knots to explain Han Solo using Parsecs and yet just throw up their hands in disgust at TLJ.
Lightspeed Ramming:
First, the movie itself justifies it. Hux could've shifted fire to the Cruiser, his own hubris gave Holdo the time to line up her shot. Second, it had to be a precise hit, while the Cruiser was still accelerating to light speed, not once you're in hyperspace. Finally, about remote-control ... if the tech was available, you'd have drones, not manned fighters. So if you'd rather have had Luke flying a simulator and remote piloting his X-Wing at Yavin, be my guest. After all, it was a fun scene in Guardians of the Galaxy 2.
Holdo:
She was quite justified in maintaining operational security. We know, from Rose, that Resistance crew were trying to jump ship. I don't think "we're gonna hide out on a planet while they chase our doomed flagship" is necessarily going to improve morale. And if that got out, and someone did cut and run and got caught ... none of them would've made it.